In words I can embrace you only to destroy all in flesh.
Are torments shared often compare are we not flawed my dear in love and charmed in life?

My monster of ego knows no weakness except the tears of your eyes I'm so sorry for the man I've become from demons I've cast we couldn't bare the flame yet in this dead of winter may we know are warmth.

Those eyes that I've seen fade now spring still my hearts wraith are the nights now colder alone or is my emptiness to much to bare?
Scars I have traced upon the flesh never mend that of this emotional drain you are that which I can never be .

You know the man not the image and I see through the past to what's of a bitter sweet embrace we have stood as enemies and loved as immortals.
A sunsets reprise often is the deepest sadness for in pain I see the beauty so few ever cared to know.

I am a villain to most and simply John to you.
Are roads cant be imagined yet I never would cast aside the wreckage for another to replace .

We understand what so few could ever fathom.
Together we are addicts of the abyss sometimes you realize the darkness brings far more comfort than the light .

I whisper to you in this night gentle for only you to hear.

Little girl do you grasp all that I can never say in words?

To most I am a monster but to you I am only John.

The streets frozen in temperature my soul soaked in bourbon as  I drift a drunk looking simply to get home and crash out simply to do
it all over again.

The music is the silence only footsteps keep me company and no other need be my shadow .

Spirts of fire are often dulled together sweetheart I will be just fine I said in my exit from the bar .


The streetlights and that Christmas tinged on full  display I drift past stores closed as vacant in windows view as my thoughts as the bums

try not freeze upon the benches I know this existence in sadness and think **** thank to hell it's not me.

Simply move on two ghost's haunted the same and no need to explain the rest,


It's here I am home in these empty streets here I grasp it all .

Maybe it's a drunkards melancholy thought a romancing of the page to fulfill the emptiness in me .


I know this night like any other sometimes when the mix of ***** and ******* hits me just right

I truly understand the man that once was me .


Goodnight my friends.

I don't know
My stomach is in knots tonight
And I need someone to help untie them.
And kiss my forehead
Or something.
Please love me.
I'm not desperate, I'm drunk.
I'm shivvering and very upset and very cute.
Love me.

You know it’s nice this time of year

To write letters

To find inspiration in fallen leaves

Though fall is like winter when you have your head in the clouds

Ideas falling out of your mind like stars

And I decided to write to someone, something out of reach

Well first I want you to know it’s a pleasure to meet you

And that I am bad at greetings

I also cannot hold eye contact for long periods of time

That and I kind of am a shy person dressed in confident clothing

So pardon me if I am a little unresponsive

But , I do open up soon enough

I don’t know how to start this letter

So let me start with that I will love you unconditionally

I lost you already huh?

But just offer a listen

I know you’ve heard it all before

But I am willing to place all doubts aside

I have pre-written vows

I will love you,

Cherish you

And because that smile is so great I will through a sandwich or two in there

I won’t be blind to your feelings

We will always be working alongside each other

Sorry I am acting weird

I am sort of not used to this

I’m running out of words

Forgive me this idea is close enough to touch

Though you seem so unattainable

But I cannot help but smile when I hear your name

I’d hold your hand in winters chill

I wouldn’t place a price above the love we’d share

You and I will be synonymous terms

We are one…

Fate doesn’t show me the script these days

So I don’t know how we will meet

Nor when this will be

But

Please accept this letter in advance

I seal it with the my heart

Sure I’m falling tough for something that may not be in my reach

But just know, I may not be that girl that is “bad”

Or the chick to say is ****

Families love me though…

I don’t know when this will be,

So until then I’ll trace my lips in lipstick

Smile and hope you’re out there

Hope to see you soon…