Keep your ******* eyes to yourself

You do not get to dictate to whom i give my time
Nor are you allowed to infer who i am involved with
And no i don't ******* care which person you think i should be with
Last time i checked i was standing here in my own shoes and you in your own
So for once ignore that old saying and do not try to walk in my shoes
If the outcome is going to be your ******* research paper on how i feel about other people
Do not confuse my friendship with someone of anything more than purely platonic
No matter how many small hand touches or lingering signs of affection you think mean anything
My love life is not your ******* criminal investigation do not treat it as such


Keep your ******* eyes to yourself

Built upon the ruins of ****** relatives
And at the very top of this disaster that’s so thoroughly shaped your every waking moment
Sits your mother
On her throne balanced on sin
After sin
After sin
And the dull notion that her bold ideas and words will shape you into the heir that she wants
Because what is the eldest son other than to be a pawn in your families wicked games

I constantly


Grapple with the notion


That i want to be so small


                                    My bones seem to be


      Their own showcase

But

       At the same time


       I know my heart can handle that


And i can only shrink so much

   Before

The
  
        
Foundation


Begins  
       
  To
  
Crumble
             With

Me

What do i do when i feel like i have written the words
That someone else has already spoken
Words that echoed in empty colosseums
Ones that tore out of vocal cords almost too worn to work
Both which feel upon the deaf ears of those who claim to know
But do not listen

You used to trace infinity signs
Looped patterns traced on scarred skin
and useless breathes
Small signs of tranquility
When my thoughts were nothing but a rough sea
Now
I trace infinity signs
Since those small hand movements
Became the difference between
Coming down
And
Crashing down
In its own way
Those infinity signs
Held some sort of forever
Maybe not between you and i
But rather
In the promise of being okay

An exhale
Followed by the deepest inhale
So deep that i thought
For a second
That this might be the time my ribcage
Finally collapses in on itself