You’re sweet tea and alcohol and the faint smell of smoke
You’re late night phone calls and ****** memes and whispered apologies
Because no matter how hard i try
I always end up saying the wrong thing
You’re cheesy pick up lines and bad tv shows and pasta roni
You’re deep breaths and silent air and soft spoken words
Because calm seems to be something that radiates off of you
Not because you’re always calm
But instead because your presence seems to have this intense calming effect
You’re oversized shirts and hoodies and kids movies
You’re little giggles and yawns and late night stories
Because you became my whole world in the blink of an eye
You sent my own existence into a whole nother system of thinking
You’re galaxies and the sound of waterfalls and star watching
You’re reassurance and safety and the idea that i can be happy
Because no one ever seemed to care about me the way you swore you did
I never wanted to have to let you go
And i certainly never thought I’d have to try to sleep without your voice on the other end of the phone call
You’re drinking on school nights and trying to sleep and insecurity
You’re heartbreak and empty promises and knowing i’ll never get anything better
Because even though everytime you tell me to leave or leave me on read
I still crave your presence and voice in the dead of the night
I’d let you hurt me a thousand times just to get one text from you
But i’d much rather slowly inch back into your life
I’d rather be stupid inside jokes and trust and someone you want to be around
I’d rather send you memes and listen to your stories and occasional phone calls
Then have to watch you walk away
You’re the bad and the good and everything i want and everything important to me
You’re a group of things that constantly bring your name to the front of my mind
Because most simply you’re you
we love a good toxic relationship