i am the 1 am drunk text
i am the family pictures popping up on  your newsfeed
i am the polaroid at the bottom of your desk drawer
i am the modern baseball song that you can't seem to skip
i am the candy wrappers in your car door
i am the cd stuck in your car radio that is just me singing a song i never should have written for you
i am the way a dorm room bed is always just big enough
i am the draft of a poem that was never just right

and

you are the space between the lines of the poems that aren't fixing anything
you are the dried up corsage in the back of my closet
you are the third step on the stairs into the basement where i swear i can still see stains of mascara on the carpet from november 8, 2015
you are the post card i never sent
you are the post card i sent but never should have
you are the phone calls i can't make
you are the nightmares i have where we are both running from something not clear to us


now that i've set the scene are you sure you want to delete your audition tape?
are you sure that your first try was good enough?

Is it wrong to feel afraid,
To feel as if your whole world just got turned upside down

Is it wrong to feel as if you fell from heaven
Just to burn alive in the vast pits of hell's fire

Is it wrong to cry blood tears
After you watched everyone you cared about perish

Is it wrong to feel as if you failed them
Because they are no longer here to cherish this victory

Is it wrong to call this a victory
When you lost it all to history

I'm only human
But I feel like the world expects me to be a God
Refusing to accept me because I'm not like them
A puppet with strings sticking out of his broken limbs
A pretender hiding his face behind the white mask of solitude
Walking the same beated path the rest of you slaves do
I'm sorry world but I rather not be a slave to society
Because I'm own being who travels the road less taken
A being who paves his own destiny with every step he takes
Because I'm the master of my fate and the captain of my soul
And I refuse to be a piece of lettuce in another's salad bowl
So instead selling myself out like a ****** on the side of the road
I'll be a king who sits on his own throne

I sat there alone just thinking one day
**** I lost my will, I lost my ways
I ran from all I ever knew.
What happened to the dreams I wanted to pursue?
I drank from wells set on fire and filled myself with unholy desires.
I dressed the part to play the role
and slowly began to lose my soul.
But when you're down and shadows grow and you have nowhere left to go, the only way to rise again is to help yourself , maybe tell a friend.
They leave when you're at your worst, they're out there making hearts hurt.
They claim so many titles and have too many idols. Why can't we just be ourselves?

Their promises bleed through the incisions
They never ******* understand the mission.
But I keep marching like any soldier would
even though at times I feel misunderstood.
I keep fighting and giving it the best when it's not enough
I promise to never give up when it gets too rough

Love* can conquer all
But so can *war
So be careful
What you wish for