phonecalls on facebook ******* trigger me
transports me back to last semester
like some sort of sick boat ride
to the magic kingdom
perverts dressed as mickey mouse
asking if i want a selfie

and i get angry.
angry that i can't use those little plastic eraser guards
we used to make patterns on paper with
as children
to erase your fingerprints from my flesh.

i rub at them regardless,
smudging away at my own contour lines
losing contrast,
value,
scale
my repeating shapes are starting to look a lot
like a pattern my mother wore
reflecting off her red cheeks
as she laid on the couch late at night
her arm over her face.

and i'm terrified,
honestly.
i'm terrified of the damage i've yet to assess
once i make it outside myself
i'm on my way out
this month
and there's only a few days
of october
left

my mother spent the month of june watching fruit rot on the countertop
before she put it all in garbage bags and left
and that is how i feel
late at night
when peace evades me.

Love begins with one of us
And, when lonely, still glorious.
At times, the story was libidinous.
When love came life got fabulous!
Sometimes it was truly glamorous;
Often noisy, raucous and clamorous,
And a needed dose of the amorous!
But, that should not cause animus.

You can't do
anything before a lion
But you can correct your
serious mistake of reaching its area

All things are a present to be unwrapped
and unwrapped again

a book within its cover
a seed within the fruit

a ghost within its skin
a heart within a voice.

I have a room with a view:
busy London street,
white and red lights
of cars rushing past,
magnificent church
hidden behind trees,
a couple passing by
holding hands
deeply immersed
in conversation.

I wonder if the moon in your place
is as big and bright as here in London.

We are all moths
seeking the moon
but finding streetlights
instead.

*

-JBClaywell

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