Laying down on the grass
Growing with the flowers

Learning to love the sun
Making this world ours

Run with me through this crazy dream of mine
where we're the only two left to wander

Not caring about those that have wronged us
and flying off into the wide blue yonder

Every morning we'll taste the sweet dew
and every night we'll sing the sun to sleep

We'll have the life we've always dreamt of
and go beyond the mediocre skin-deep

01/12/2018

"You're such an extrovert!" They loudly claim
"I'm nothing but a loner" I secretly say

...
..
.

loneliness is the most familiar feeling of them all. i'm a thinker. i sometimes wish i weren't. but i am. i constantly feel like i am detached from everyday life. too much of an analyser to immerse myself in it without feeling like i'm acting. i have always felt and still feel lonely. the odd one out amongst siblings. the only child of a mother's second marriage. the people in my life are too different to bond beyond shallow communication. i love my family and friends but our connection is too superficial for my needs. even though i go out, i laugh and play the part, i sometimes feel that something is missing. i sometimes feel that no one really knows the real me. i don't even know if i know the real me. sixth form is now over and i am starting uni next week. will i continue to feel this lonely? being depressed and suicidal at home whilst being ms perfect at school was my reality for the past 7 years. i can't believe how proficient i have become at hiding my feelings and expressing only what i want to express. no matter how hard i try to let loose and stop overthinking, i find no one else like me in my life. i feel like i have nothing in common with anyone. i feel trapped in a world that judges me at every turn and yet never bothers to try to help or understand.