I'm sorry I'm not skinny
I'm sorry I'm not pretty
I'm sorry my hair isn't soft
I'm sorry I always wear makeup
I'm sorry I'm short
I'm sorry I'm not funny
I'm sorry I'm awkward
I'm sorry...
I'm sorry.

I'm not sorry that I care so deeply
I'm not sorry that my heart is pretty
I'm not sorry that I had the courage to cut my hair two years ago
I'm not sorry that I'm growing it out because I like it that way
I'm not sorry that I've been through what I've been through
I'm not sorry that my mind sometimes only makes sense to me
I'm not sorry that I'm not everything you want in a girl
Because I'm starting to be everything I want in me.

I miss the warmth that used to course
through my veins
I'm tired
of being tired
of being sad
of being
nothing like me.

I will not let this
change me.
I have simply been holding my light
in an airtight box
while caught in a storm at sea
I must simply believe that I am
stronger
than the waves that try to crush my lungs
I refuse to let the storm make me
forget how to breathe
I must learn to trust
that my light is still glowing
I must believe
that the waves won't extinguish it
I won't let the waves extinguish it
I can't let it destroy my light
For if we loose our light...
... What is left?

Air in my chest is close and warm
But when I have to release it
It's cold and turns to ice
Before my eyes
Just like my own little storm

Frost is beneath my bare feet
And the cold air around me
Is colder than I've ever felt
This winter is brutal
This winter is a slow, methodic beat

Everything around me is dead
Gray and brown, gray and brown
The pattern never seems to end
The flower must have so much courage
To break through the winter's layer of dread

It breaks my heart to see the earth like this
Grieving for past warm days with
sunshine
Yet the sunrise always is there
To remind the earth that she cares
She caresses the barren earth with her golden wrist

Slowly she rises till she covers the earth's every line
She whispers, "it'll be okay,"
And all the trees and blades of grass
Have renewed hope
Hope of days filled with sunshine

Maybe we are torn
From the things we love
So that when we can return to them
The love is stronger.

Maybe we run away
From things that we have lost our love for
So that we can learn to
Run back.

And it's an odd beauty
That we can't hold all the puzzle pieces
That we have to wait
For the sun to rise and then
Watch it set again.

I sit there
Tears streaming down my face
And splashing on the palm of my hands
Thinking, "who knew it was so hard for a ball of fire to stay lit when it's raining"
Wondering if it was really that difficult
For the sun to show it's face
I just need that blue sky
One minute of it

I keep thinking
Thinking that I can only keep up
With so many things
Only make so many people understand
Only have two people hold each hand
And one Jesus to hold my heart
It's all I can do
To keep up with my own thoughts

And when you scream at me
That I'm not enough
I'll let you scream
You can scream till your hoarse
I'll listen
I've always listened
But I've always known better
I have a fire deep down
That will never be put out
No matter how much you blow on it
It's too strong
It may falter
But God is my fuel
And I know He's getting me ready
For a wildfire

Burst of hope
In my soul
Like a lightening strike
Short and sweet
Leaving a lingering taste
Of memories past and
Promise of more
Memories to cherish
Burst of hope
I can see
Through the storm
Through these battles
I keep fighting
I'm tired
I still keep fighting
But I hope
These bursts of hope
Never leave
These small pieces of light

There are a few of us
Born every century
You read because you want it to validate you
We read because it actually is apart of our souls

We abhor the clichés
Of those who try to define us
By trying to be us

Don't stereotype us
We don't all love coffee
We aren't all obsessed with mountains and calligraphy
If you are like those tumblr posts
You are not us

We can't hear your overused quotes
Over the rustling of our pages
We can't hear the adults saying,
"They'll be the ones to change the world,"
Over the words becoming worlds inside our heads

Those books we treasure
Are our lifeline
Don't define us
We live and breathe
The secret air of another earth