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pour fire on my hands just to see if I burn
cut rubies from my flesh just to make sure I bleed
because though I've a heartbeat beating on
I'm not sure I'm alive just because that I breathe
Behold! The sight
               of shifting eyes
      bouncing ‘round its fellow pair
As darkness falls
               and contact dies
      mirroring the moon’s harsh glare

Hearken, ye!
               That subtle sound…
      the dying gasps of slaughtered words
Sputtering
               as they are drowned
      by dropping pins and cricket-birds

Alas! The stench
               of stale vibes
      the sweaty feel a handshake leaves
The aftertaste
               your mouth imbibes
      of musty webs that Silence weaves
I met a friend today
His name was Death
He smiled big with pure white teeth
And minty fresh breath
I asked him what he did for a living
Staring blankly at me, batting his eyelashes
He did the opposite of giving
What did that mean?
But the closer I got to Death
The better I understood his scheme
In his sharp black suit he won me over
I felt an irresistible draw
Like to a diamond in the rough, or a four leaf clover
He convinced me of the beauty in the night
That when the moon was hidden from view
There was nothing better than the lack of light
He led me from my lust for life
Sang to me in my sleep
Whispered sweet nothings and handed me the knife
I tried to pull away from my newly found friend
But his choke hold was so tight
On him I started to depend
The world could see me deteriorate into nothing
He held me harder and closer
With shortness of breath I stood huffing and puffing
Enclosed in the lackluster of our friendship I became numb
The emotions drifted with my vitality
I tried to retrieve them but could only attain 1/5th of my former sum
The more time you spend with a person
The more you become like them
I suppose I couldn't see the situation worsen
Collar around my neck he leashed me like a dog
I cared so deeply for him
My haze filled mind ignored the dense fog
I came to terms with my life long trap
Death circled like a satellite around my position
No matter where I went he found my place on the map
Eventually I succame to this fate
Despite his control
Death, I could not hate
I loved him too dearly to notice the signs
I couldn't think clearly
His presence was odious and it wasn't benign
Tell me this!
How can you cage a bird
When you fell in love
Whilst watching it fly?
 Jul 2019 Kaiden A Ward
Astrid
Trapped long enough
and the outside becomes a blur.
There's life beyond these walls,
But nothing left in my world.

If I could just recall
The sun's warming touch,
Or a child's beaming smile,
Perhaps I'd find a reason to keep going for a while.

But here there's only dark;
The world and I, miles apart,
Emotions numbed and reality crushed
Time swings to the heavy beat of my heart,
Slowing.
And I hear the last bolt slam shut -
This meaningless existence,

Closing.
 Jul 2019 Kaiden A Ward
Astrid
Fear
 Jul 2019 Kaiden A Ward
Astrid
I wish I was afraid of heights.
Or guns, or spiders. Anything.

I don't even look
both ways when I cross the road,
anymore.
If I get hit,
No loss, no gain.
Anyone reading this would think I'm insane

But I am scared of one thing -
Terrified.
And that's my own name.
Sometimes the questions
are already the answers.
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