Some of you sense this is a letter of defense
And in light of recent events,
I won’t bother with attempts to cover it up, to hide it
To put up a pretense
I ain’t tryin’ to act all misunderstood
I know I could and I should see the good in the love and the care people bear for their son or their friend or their brother so dear
I. But when people them say I don’t try hard enough
That I do what I want, that my hardships are bluff
I scream on the inside, or outside, sometimes
(and I promise, inside I ain’t screamin’ in rhymes)
You may have been in my situations at times
But were you ever me? And will you ever be?
Did you ever see
How I sit in my seat at school every day?
And the torture it is? Do you think that’s okay?
And if you did, (think while you’re reading this poem)
Have you ever seen the way I am at home?
Have you ever seen what I think in my head?
What I dream in my sleep?
How I feel in my bed?
Did you ever hear the things I have said
When no-one’s around?
What I love? What I dread?
II. Some people sincerely do try to relate
“How are you doing?” they ask. I’m just great.
They say I’m in pain. What does that even mean?
Being me isn’t hard, it’s quite simple and clean.
I’m lazy and selfish. I hate doing work.
I see responsibility as something to shirk.
Overall, I’m a ****, with a lot of strange quirks
I’m a horrible person with demons that lurk.
I’m in love with my demons. I like them. I do.
They make things exciting, and help with poems too.
So don’t pick a fight with ‘em, please stop inciting
I don’t need no help with a war I ain’t fighting
III. Lastly, please, pretty please, stop with the sighing
The crying, the prying, I feel like I’m dying
Or already dead, by the grief on your faces
Like I’m haunting your places, just filling up spaces
Please, when we talk about prices of tea
Don’t bring up my “issues”, don’t talk about me
I feel like whenever you’re looking at me
My hardships and failures are all that you see
I can’t handle all this disappointment around me
I didn’t choose my problems, I swear it — they found me
In short, my request is, please don’t judge and blame
But don’t pretend to understand, that’s almost the same
Thirdly, my issues are not what I’m made of
So please don’t bring up something that I’m afraid of
Thank you for helping, for being sincere,
Signed Yø-c, who loves you and knows that you care
A request to my family and friends: please don't judge me or try to understand me, just pretend I have no issues...