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  Nov 2016 shania rose
"you should eat", said they
"i can't," said i, "i just can't."
  Nov 2016 shania rose
sometimes she cries when she prays
think she's got it all worked out
sometimes the ocean only waves
never stays

she couldve held me through this
i know i dont deserve it
but ima still be selfish

im trying to be the good one here
but its so hard to hear anyone cheer me on
im working on it alright
wearing the same clothes twice
forgetting to eat
letting my phone die

"what are you going to do when im not around?"
my mind only drifts to the sound
you'll let me out
keep my mouth shut
eyes on the floor
my back to the door
can't tell anybody anything anymore

feel like youre hating me more and more
listening to too much frank ocean
shania rose Nov 2016
One cut
Two cut
Three cut
come on darling what one more ?

Five cut
Six cut
Seven cut

oh , what a mess this'll create
shania rose Nov 2016
my bones are selfish they, demand to be seen,
on the thrown of my body, they crowned themselves queen,
no matter what the cost , they want the prize,
they want me to loose weight and to shrink me size

they scream, I cry
they demand, I want to die
never good enough, never pretty enough
never thin enough

I gave up fighting; my bones are to tough
nothing can ever please the skeleton that is surfacing

nor the emotions and voices that bones bring
how much is too much?
I know longer know for now I cannot stop until my ribs start to show
  May 2016 shania rose
I am a ****** up poet
A starving artist
A punk rock Elvis
Sometimes you just gotta go all out
Because your the king
And you just can't help it

Van Gogh died poor
And alone
In a field that was his last expression
He died by his own hand
And it wasn't even raining
When it should have been

I don't even see myself when I look in a mirror
And you don't see what I see when you look at me
You see a smiling lover
Enjoying life though all the struggle
I live life as Pagliacci
A ****** up poet

I put on a great show
And I weep during intermission
shania rose Nov 2015
The hurt in my eyes is all that has to be said
Sometimes I know I'm better off dead
The pain is the only thing I can feel
Knowing it's the one thing that's real
Behind all the games and lies
An emptiness haunts my eyes

A person who I used to be
Worse even though it wasn't me
Sorrow consuming every thought
Slowly losing everything I've got
Darkness closing in all around
Still I don't make a single sound

Evil fills the void inside
this life's not one I'll confide
However deeper someone tries to look
whatever happens the ground has shook
the dread and hate leaves me in a daze

All around me demons fires blaze
Living isn't worthwhile if its torture
yet it's that to which I'm not sure
don’t try to understand the words written here
for I'm not the one to fear
shania rose Nov 2015
The end of a long day.
You go home and in silence lay.
With dangerous thoughts running through your head.
Skin deep, bear flesh, heart stopped, body cold, bled so dry.
Soulless in the dark, you end up finally dead. Your ghost will slowly die.
Haters and lovers, loudly mourn, Hearts are torn.
It always ends the same, just a
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