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(20 minute poetry)

Her hair hangs like untied shoelaces across a well worn pair of trainers,
rain has no friends in the fading night  .
I drip and aware if this is being aware shake my head in despair.

I bark
if I behave like a cur why then not act like one.

After the rain has gone and inside a tube train the heat is on there is always the smell of dead sheep to keep me company.

I love her woollen jacket
( must have cost her a packet )
but why wear it on a wet day?

Anyway while dead sheep weep I keep busy, head down, London Town tends to bend people like me to its will,
no quill?
a cursor
a damp notebook

'Look Ma, top of the world'
Cagney wouldn't care about this
not when a grapefruit says more
than a kiss
I miss him.

The shoelace girl gets up to go
and just so you know
we didn't speak.

The thought of daffodils in the spring
bring me back to my senses.
dead sheep aside I'm only here
for the ride
and mine's the next stop.
  Feb 2017 Shaded Lamp
There are days
inside the shelter of my core
it rained and most days are cloudy.
In my core I’ve wish the sun would shine
at day, and the star will glow at night, after
it never did
like before.
i still have lots to learn in this concrete poetry thingy, because i really wanted to formed it like an umbrella, looks like i failed, it looks like a lampshade...sigh...thanks for reading.
  Feb 2017 Shaded Lamp
in passing of time,
as we grow old,
as i learned the wisdom
of the good and bad
in the rhythm of life
i stood still -
  in pause,
              in silence.
at a passing thought
you'll never know
what's out there -
uncertain in most
in beating the odds
a step yet to have taken
    i only took a detour
for a time, just for a short while
yet I wouldn't have imagine
years has passed never did
i take a step...

dear readers,

i hope you would not think i have such deep regret buried deep inside,   i don't have those as of yet and hope not in the future, it is just that this nagging feeling that you've wasted your time, or i feel like i wasted too much of my time engaging on something  that i did not learn to loved. I'm writing now, because my heart seems to be so cloudy, and feel like crying for no reason... i hope by writing this, i'll find relief on the nagging feeling...

thanks again for reading.
  Feb 2017 Shaded Lamp
I'm vexed to stay
waking up
With a head full of holes.
Each day repeats its
For things I can't recall.
Sleep till midday,
Curse the days wide expanse.
Scrape words from my skull,
Chop meat from my bones,
Sew my mouth shut.
Still it's not enough.
Trying to reach you
But there's no forgiveness
for this clumsy emotion.
I'm a cold fish,
Or loving beyond control.
Hold me, generously
Undo my buttons —
                  talk *****.
Lose control and find me.
I was something once.
"I'd beg for some forgiveness/But begging's not my business."
Shaded Lamp Feb 2017
The atmosphere is atomised fear
Your cant full of four letters
War decreed and now we bleed
Forgiveness owns two debtors

Just hanging on a hangover
Begin the counterclaims
Each a zeppelin filled with adrenaline
Ready to go up in flames

We've been here before you / I
And this mirrored glass
My ugly reflection devoid of affection
Always a snake in the grass.

Trapped with another violent prisoner
Who torments their cell "mate"
Full of sin but, which would get in
To that approaching pearly gate?
Shaded Lamp Oct 2016
Before yesterday's news
Before I bought you shoes
Before teenage angst and blues
Before understanding "humane"

Before seeing girls and boys
Before playing with toys
Before words were just noise
Before feeling any pain

Before any disgrace
Before the human race
Before time and space
When I no longer remain
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