You asked me how I feel
You asked me to explain
I'm gonna make this simple
But either way you won't understand.

Maybe you should know
That I want to slash my wrists
I want to feel the pain
I want to see the blood.

Now listen up.
I want to starve my self
I want to loose some weight
I want to get in shape

Do you think I'm crazy yet?
I want to smoke some ****
I really need to escape
I really need to feel no pain

I want to drink some *****
I want to down some cough syrup
I want to feel high
I want to feel drunk

None the less maybe you should know
I want to fall apart
I want to hurt what little i have left
So did I answer your questions?
Am I crazy yet?

Strong hands pulling you away from everything you know
A silent scream that no one can hear
One hand on your mouth
One hand moving down

Your world ripped apart before your eyes
Everything you once knew: gone
Denial, shame
Oh what a lovely game

Hello where'd my childhood go
It's been snatched before my eyes
Everyone's crying
But no one sees me

You can't print flyers asking for it back
It isn't something broadcasted on the news
Something been taken from you, something you should never lose so soon
Your world soon turns inside out

You're not a kid anymore
Your mother and father no longer matter
You've gotten older too fast
Your heart has gone cold

-But what do you expect when your kidnapper steals your home.

They say curiosity killed the cat
And I suppose it did
Because curiosity kills
It leads you down a deep dark road

When you begin to wonder about simple things
You venture into the unknown
Once you begin asking questions
You are on your own

The leaders of this place or lying
All there secrets are hiding
If you dig a little deeper
You won't like what you find

And so yes, curiosity kills
Because they will come for you
And lock you up if they have to
They try to convince you that your free

But if you think for a second
You are far from free
Make one mistake
And you may spend your life locked in a cell

So be careful, my friend
Rebels don't last long here
Nothing lasts long here
Better stay safe and walk with the rest.
Isn't it worth it?

Everything breaks
It's not about how you can momentarily fix something
It not about how much you love it
It's about time

What is time you ask?
Time is simply about deterioration
Every **** second we are closer to death
Time is a *****, a ***** that just won't forgive

What can you do about it?
You can choose to hug trees instead of humans
You can simply not get close to anyone
You can shut everything out and pretend to exist  

The thing is, yes everything will die
You can't control that
You can decide to just **** yourself
Because you're going to die anyway right?

Or you can take a moment to cherish what you do have, or what you might have
Set all life after death beliefs aside and look around
Look at the road crumbling
Look at the blood dripping down your skin

And then turn around and look at life
Take in the times when you get to see your girlfriend smile
The times when life overtakes death
Take in the moment your little sister comes to you crying and tells you about how no one cares
And then tell her that you care about her and that you'll never stop caring about her, and let her hug you

Take a moment to touch a tree and feel how connected it is the earth
Take a moment to truly feel life
And when you start to feel like you're dying
Remember that day where you felt like you were bigger than death

It's a constant battle isn't it?
Between living and letting death win
Between losing time and defying it
And maybe you don't win

But life isn't about winning
Life is about the game
And I've had days when I'm slipping
And I've had days when I feel infinite

Take some time to truly love someone
Because love is infinite
It's not an object, it's a feeling
A feeling time can't just destroy

Tell people how much they mean to you
Hug them while you can
Watch them live
Because one day you won't be able to

So you can hug trees instead of humans
But your tree will eventually die
And you can decide to not let someone hurt you
But pain is apart of life

All I'm saying is
Yes we die
But we also live
And I'm telling you, I hold on to the way my girlfriend smiles and the way my brother hugs me because that's what makes me feel alive. That's how I defy time

He creeps into your vision with a slight smile
When you're almost least expecting him
Sometimes you don't even know he's there
Sometimes he's just a shadow with a knife

"Hold on you need that" he whispers as your mind starts to spin
To a point where you can't think about anything else
"You know you need it" the echo in the back of your mind
Not sure of who's making the sound

Sometimes you see him in others
When their eyes light up with malice
Sometimes he's not as strong
He plays nice, for the few that are worthy and in that moment he helps

"Such a pretty little thing" the voice creeps across you're mind but you're unaware someone else is speaking.
"Don't you need her?"
He's there but some don't notice
Some don't even worry about it they just take what he whispers in mistake it's their own voice speaking

He's a cute little pesky demon
Clouding your vision in all types of form
The need, the desire, the yearning
It's a game you see played by someone else just below the threshold of conciseness

It's a funny thing, you see.
The world told me to be me
I was told to be myself
I was told to not be like everyone else

And so I let my inner spirit show
But now all I get is the constant remarks.
The sneering and calling me weird
The laughter at my walk

So I guess deep down you don't like me
And that's the thing
Humans don't like people who are not like them
And I am not like you

I am unique to myself
I am proud of myself
I may regret what I do
But I don't regret being me

We are not free
We are stuck in a revolving hell
And untill we learn to except each other
We will live forever in the constant state of hell.

I never believed in love
And I'm not sure what to do
What is love exactly?
Is it possible it's true

We mumble the words I love you.
It's only been a day.  
But I don't think you can love someone so soon.
I don't even know if love is true.

These words that used to mean so much,
have become so little.
Misused.
Abused.
Untrue.

How can you love someone?
How do you really love someone?
I hear that this love is important.
But in fact I've never felt it.

I've never felt my heart tremble.
I've never felt my heart melt.
Maybe it's that I'm heartless.
Maybe I'm a bit psychopathic.

I'm not sure what to do.
Tell me if love is true.
Do you believe in it?
Do you feel it?
Because I know I never do.

Strange, weird, psychological
I do things that are physically impossible
I'm living life
But I'm dead inside

I see parts of me
That you will never see
I hold grudges
As big as the sea

If I get angry
You better run
I fear my self
But nobody else.

Like the titanic
I'm big and bold  
But with one big hit
I'm dead and old

You better run
You better cry
If you see me
You better hide

I'm coming for you
And I shall get what I seek
You'll be dead in a second
And I'll be swimming in heaven

You take my mother when I need her
You act like you need her more
And she acts as if it's true.
But don't you know, a daughter needs her mother

A daughter needs her mother
It's a simple act of nature
And the fact that people try to take her
Defys the rules of Mother Nature

But I guess it doesn't matter
I should be happy
I should be glad
But in fact I'm just sad

Because I barely see my own mother
And when I do your always with her
I realize you want to be with her
But can you realize I need her more

When it's just me and her
I'm always happy
But when you come around
I'm always angry

I wouldn't say I'm being selfish
I'm just saying I need her
And I need her more then you do
I hope one day you will both see it.

I looked down at the world as it was falling apart
The fighting
The wars
Never did stop

And I thought to myself
A simple sacrifice would be my self
Maybe it would pause the wars
Maybe it would halt the fights

And so I did it
I sacrificed myself
But the wars didn't stop
The fighting got worse

The lies got out of hand
The rebellion sparked
My sacrifice made no mark
So now I think to myself

And I know it's the truth
The fighting won't stop
And the wars won't halt
Untill every last sacrifice has been marked.

You told me to tell you everything
I resisted
But you were persistent
And I couldn't take it

So I told you every little thing
I let you in
For a while we were best friends
But then it all happened again

You became broken like me
Perhaps it was because of me
I told you to much ****
I guess you shouldn't have been so persistent

You started doing the same things I did
But I wouldn't stop it
How could I stop you
If I couldn't even stop myself?

And then we drifted
Just like that you were gone
You said you found better people
But remember when you said I was perfection?

I knew it was a lie
I could see it in your eye
Everyone leaves me
I even left me

The last thing I heard from you
Made me emotionally break down
You told me to get help
You said everyone knew I needed it
I guess is what happens when people are persistent

As the days went on
And the sleepless nights continued
The drinking got worse
And my mind became broken

I began to remember the little things
The things that broke me
The people that attempted to fix me
But failed miserably

The therapists that quit
The friends who left
I remembered my hopeless mess
And so everything got worse

Nothing got better
I killed people with my thoughts
Slaughtered them with my mind
They always run and hide

I'm not fixable
But I sure am quotable
I am pitiful
And I am miserable

The sun sets
And the moon appears on everything I should've been.
My brain is like an hamster running on one of those wheels
Running...thinking...running

Once you stop thinking
Once the slate is blank
Perhaps you'll be happier
Or perhaps it'll be just the same

You asked to disappear
But you should've asked to stay
You wanted to paint a picture
But you should've tossed the metal brushes away

You needed to flush away your mistakes
But you should've just said no
Or perhaps maybe you shouldn't have downed your mistakes in the first place
The world might never know

You should've controlled your rage
You're a fiery one but that's not what they want at all
You shouldn't have given your self away
You're corrupted unholy and just sick

You should've went to college
Should've got a job
But instead you're just wasting away
Thinking about yesterday