i am the rocks that try to break the waves
and you are the hurricane that comes anyway
the tide comes out of my eyes
i tried to hold it back i swear i ******* tried

The past answered back
in the form of flickering
images evolving in time.

I saw each of them as children,
before they ever had to work
or make it big out in the world.

I saw each of them as mothers,
the gentle curve of a smile
beaming into the eyes of a child.

I saw bones form from nothing,
wrapped in muscles, skin
and rippling emanations.

I felt the startling disconnection
of my mental projections
and healthy, natural directions.

I felt a subducting sensation,
coupled with crawling anticipation
as I glimpsed the essence of creation.

Here is where I take my stand,
to fix the things I misunderstand.
It's time the true work began.

I've been thinking it's time I retired,
acquired a rucksack to ******* my back
and returned to the slow track.
Hitting the road and taking the load off my mind,
with many needles to thread and a hay stack for my bed
I'd be content with it all,
to drift into the colour of fall and ever so slowly disappear,
never here for long,never there or anywhere but everywhere
I would be,
free from the trap laid by polite society.

not lost or found
nor seeking or avoiding
just **being

there are no words to describe
the space in between
where love blossoms or welts

no words to describe
the space in between
when life lifts you up or crushes you

no words to describe
the space in between
the joy of birth and grief of death

the greatest gift of my spiritual journey
has been learning to experience
the space in between
where life is more than either/or

We are all animals of a baser kind
elementary creatures, reveling in our complexity
an assembly of simple machines, each playing part
in an inseparable chorus of flesh and ego

Boastful beings, claiming we are contrived by gods
fashioned from particles, or the dust of dead giants
though truly, we are merely creations of vanity and chance
the eyes of a universe looking back upon itself in awe

How grand and vain, this cosmic mirror!
****** upon eyes that only stare in wonder

I often feel alone
even though I 'm reminded
that I have family
that loves me

but sometimes

Family is just a mirror that
chooses to reflect every bad decision
you've ever made in your life
while hiding behind the glass

Sometimes, conversations are held
on one way streets, where sin only comes
in black and white, and the ones that love you
hold gavels between clenched fists

Sometimes, love looks like scorn
and hugs feel a lot like straight jackets that
leave bruises in the shape of hearts
and I-told-you-sos

So I'm alone, and a sinner
*tell me something I didn't already know.

i don't think i've ever felt that my life was completely my own and i don't think i ever will. i am thrown off-guard by people who simply choose to live. mesmerized by people who throw themselves into their life, as if that is all they are here to do. mind-boggled by people who've never considered the possibility that their life may be bigger than their own, that it could be -- easily -- if they'd only let it. contentment is not in my vocabulary, it is not in my bones; i don't sing in the shower, i breathe.

To be trapped in a body containing its own limits 

While others trapped inside an open bottle 

Both similar yet different

People in bodies trapped can't aspire to break what can be broken

Those trapped in a bottle can leave when they can shape themselves to leave the bottle that isn't closed

But can't comprehend the shape

What we seem to forget

Is we are limitless in a reality deemed by culture and illusion

To be produced and consumed 

To fit any shape but not move

You're not suffocating 

I've moved air through clogged straw

And still I stress 

And I digress 

Even when suicide is a mere option

A cowardly choice some say

Be glad

Because when it seems bad

It really is

Then hysterically submit to convulsions

And succumb to the shock

These are our motives place by our limits in a society that doesn't exist 

Like you

It's man made