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Bob B  Nov 2016
Scammers
Bob B Nov 2016
I'm so tired of scammers!
There are so many around!
For every situation,
A scammer is to be found.

There's the email message
From a "friend" stuck overseas
Whose money has been stolen--
Who needs your help, please.

Have you received the phone call
Saying that you're in big trouble
With the I.R.S. and insisting
That you must pay on the double?

Computer hackers will take
Your PC hostage and say
That you'll lose ALL your computer
Data unless you pay.

What about being a winner
Of a contest? All you must do
Is forward them some money
And they'll send the "winnings" to you.

If you by chance get a call
From "Microsoft" or "Dell"
Saying your account's in danger,
Tell them to go to hell.

Scamming probably reaches
Far back into history.
The demise of the Neanderthals
Might not have been a mystery.

Did early **** sapiens
With carefully planned persistence
Scam neanderthalensis
Out of its earthly existence?

If scammers had put their know-how
In a positive direction,
We could say, "Three cheers
For natural selection!"

But, no, we're stuck with scammers--
A problem that clearly shows
That if we want to survive,
We've got to be on our toes!

- by Bob B
What is up with all the scammers on here,
Is this not a place for poetry,
Free thought.
The freedom to read poetry and writing,
And have yours read in turn.
So please all of you *******,
who are trying to **** other people,
Please stop,maybe try writing some poetry yourself,
It might help you realize that ******* people,
Just leaves everyone ******.
Thank you i hope you have an epiphany.
Ps. To the scammers that wont learn to respect others or at least stop trying to **** everyone....i hope you get cancer.
Sorry just had to rant keep getting messages from people trying to scam and its *******
Àŧùl Feb 2014
It's brought to the HP fraternity's kind notice that some scammers are active here and are sending spam messages that bear phishers' look. The following message was received by my account (please ignore the awful grammar usage by this person):

Messages ›Mark as unread
with linda ahmed
linda ahmed   6 minutes ago
Hello dear ,

With profound respect and humble submission , I beg , the following few lines for your kind consideration to give , I hope you will find some of your valuable minutes to read the following appeal with sympathetic mind. I must confess that it comes with great hopes , joy and enthusiasm that I am writing this email which I know and believe by faith that you need to find in a good state of health certainly , My name is Miss Linda Ahmed, I am the only daughter of my late parents Mr.and Mrs Ali Ahmed,

My father died a few months ago and left me the only daughter behind, he died in heart attack because of killing innocent people in my country Cote d' Ivoire crisis .. Though his sudden death was linked or rather suspected by an uncle of mine who was with him at that time was to be leading . But God knows the truth ! My mother died when I was just 6yrs old, and since then my father took me so special .

Before the death of my father , he called me and informed me that he he deposited the sum of $ 6,500,000.00 USD in a bank here Abidjan Cote D ' Ivoire. He told me that he deposited the money in my name, and also gave me all the necessary legal documents regarding this deposit at the bank.
I am only 20 years old and a university student and really do not know what to do . Now I want an honest and God fearing partner overseas who I can transfer this money with his assistance and after the transaction I will come and reside permanently in your country till such a time that it is convinient for me to return home , if I so desire. This is because I have suffered a lot of setbacks as a result of President incessant political crisis in our country Ivory Coast.

The death of my father actually brought sorrow , my life. I want to invest the fund under your care because I know nothing of economy. I am in a sincere desire of the humble assistance in this regard. Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded. Now allow me to ask these few questions:
First Can you help me , honest from the heart ?
Second Can I completely trust you?
3rd What percentage of the total amount in question will be good for you after the fund transfeered to your account and i come to meet you ?

Please consider this and reply me on my private e -mail as soon as possible ( lindaahmed503@yahoo.com ) immedaitely i confirm your willingness , by e -mail, I will send to you my picture and also inform you more details involved in this matter.
Anticipating to hear from you soon, Thanks and God bless you for your concern , an orphan how to help me. My email : lindaahmed503@yahoo.com .
Sincerely,
Miss Linda Ahmed
Bob B  Aug 2018
Scammers, Beware!
Bob B Aug 2018
Telephone scams are driving me crazy--
Both on my landline and on my cell!
I'm on the verge of telling every
Pesky caller to go to hell!

The IRS is after me.
Oh, the message sounds so dire.
The person says I'd better respond
Or I will be in big trouble. Liar!

Or a recording tells me that my
Router has been hacked, and so
If I don't call them right away,
They'll shut my router down. Oh, no!

A caller claims he's from HP
And says that they know for sure
That my computer has a virus.
I want to say he's full of manure.

Another swears he's calling from
The FBI, demanding money
Because I'm being investigated.
I must pay, or else! Funny!

Because you've managed to make our lives
So miserable, scammers, I swear:
There has to be a special place
In hell for you. You'd better beware!

-by Bob B (8-23-18)
gloria graves Jun 2015
there are some internet dating sites
people go to when they're lonely
they searched and searched in hopes to find
someone they can call there one and only

but be careful what you're doing
there are some that you cant trust
those people are called scammers
They'll break your heart with a mighty ******

they make you think they love you
And then out of the country they go
making you think they'll be back soon
but they are just playing a role

they get you to gain your trust in them
and then after  your money they'll go
so then you'll play along with them
oh what a wonderful show

you finally get enough of their games
then on your blocklist you'll put them
they may find another innocent one
sometimes you wish you could shoot them

i have a reason behind these words
because I had been a victim
but I was smart enough to know
and figure it out there scheming system

so please my friends be careful
who you are chatting to
because they will be coming after you
and I will pity you if they do
We are on the "no call" list
Yet, our telephone still rings
We've a sign that says "No Pedlars"
But, there's people selling things
Showing up and disregarding
The sign that we've put there
They won't accept the fact they've trespassed
They really do not care
We get calls from companies
Who aren't allowed to phone
And when we say "we're on the list"
They leave us alone
It last for just two hours
Then they call back again
We start the "No call" salsa
From the beginning once again.
People drive by and they stop
They say our house needs work
They saw it from a mile back
They must think I'm a ****
I figure that their eyesight great
For our problem's not out front
The problem is around the rear
They're just searching on a hunt
Have you ever asked yourself
How do they "fly by night"
For they're all so full of *******
They couldn't muster any height
They tell you that they did some work
For the lady who lived here
But if they're work is so **** durable
Why did it only last a year
They're nothing but cheap hustlers
Who want to rip you off and leave
They're just out to get your money
They practice to decieve
They've never got good papers
To show just where they're from
And when you ask to see them
They hightail it and they run
The honest ones leave me alone
And they do not cross my step
For they read my sign "No Pedlars"
And they leave my place...with pep
They move on to the neighbors
They do not wait around
They don't look inside my windows
They just evacuate my ground
There's salesmen doing driveways
Professionals, these guys ain't
All they want to do is
Cover up my drive with paint
They ask about my eavestroughs
It is blocked, that's why it drips
But, it has a gutter cover
That's help on with plastic clips
They phone me during dinner
And they say, "Hi, my name's Jay"
But they sound as if they're calling
From an office in Bombay
They know that my computer
Has a virus I can't fix
And if I let them in my system
This problem they will nix
They prey on you not knowing
And they catch you unaware
So if you don't know these people
i'd advise you please take care
You can tell them really nicely
Or you can tell them go to hell
But right now, my phone is ringing
It must be Jay upon my cell.
I want o work
But people are trying to
Treat me like easy meat
Like one fucken **** tried
To get my bank details
And I stupidly gave them to him
Because he said he was from
ACTEW but I know now
And I will never make that
Mistake again
I should say that I might find it
Hard in a job because people
Will think I am easy meat
A target to tease
Once I gave a 14 year boy
A packet of smokes
And the owner of the shops
Was tearing strips off me
And the boy
Well he was just having fun
Teasing me
Like these stupid scammers on
Phone they here having fun
Teasing me too
Everyone is teasing me
Everyone is making my life
Difficult
I never get phone calls from
Friends just scammers
Never give your bank details
To scammers
They won’t get my money
Cause my account is frozen
Till I get a letter
But I heard so many people get caught up
Next time I say
I am mr gobbly goop
And I am the mayor
Of your fantasy planet you live in
Thru will never beat me
And tomorrow I wanna get up
To watch the marlins play
At 5am
Please leave me alone teasers
Jake muler Sep 2015
Wanna know what ***** ****, paying for fifty Buck's in gas
And only getting twenty five bucks worth, gas station scammers
Wack Tastic Nov 2012
Destined to never be satisfied, that is me,
I will swallow the world and purge,
Wiping my mouth of the spittle, off too comes the grin,
Momentous occasions amount to invisible entrapment,
They'll try and tell me that it should be enough,
Sedated and post-op lobotomies on pedestals,
Formaldehyde jars packed with vernal reward,
Plopped on sofas staring at the **** tube barrel,
Fancier and well built imports,
**** measuring contest gone wrong,
Debt built up and drowning rats,
Tunnel vision scoped Dharman,
Wicker trinkets, frail mistreated,
Lunatics that love for the wrong reasons,
Insanity epidemic gross over-exaggeration,
Billy clubs fly from hands of misguided lawmen,
Prayers knelt under the bus benches,
***** corroding the underbelly of the social glance,
Blind blues moutharp in the corner still playing,
Trains running on time, taking the life from the patrons,
Steel breathes burnt crimson,
Foggy cauldrons from medieval nightmares,
The haggard ***** dangles her ***** precariously above,
Just an inch or two in the wrong direction,
And all this meaningless mess might be forgotten,
Books burned, learned forgotten, buildings from the sand,
Starting the sick cycle over again,
With an even wider **** eating grin,
Chartreuse Cheshire cats with inviting eyes,
Taking the breath from the first borns,
Replacing motor oil with sugar canes,
HOWLING what history has shown,
Making a prophet from the scammers and thieves,
I can't believe that we don't all see,
What my path of professed malnutrition,
Gambled stimulus, Golden fleece lined nimbus,
Never enough for the scabbed *****,
Never enough for the howling idiots in the sun,
Never enough for the lunatics undistinguished,
Surely never enough for you and me.
Continuing on snickering underhanded,
Snide underbreath worried about repercussions if found out,
Maybe even too ignorantly blissful enough to not give a ****,
Head down looking at your shoes,
Or ready to inflict a flat tire,
Graceful or oafish,
Humble sniveling whelp, prodding pious peacock,
Dividing rod stuck in the teeth of our teeth,
This is the loner society,
At least tolerance is taught in our schools,
Has anyone really learned anything?
DC raw love Dec 2014
If someone messages you, check their profile
there has been 2 people tring to get email addresses
and to put money their money
in your account for help
and will pay you for it.

Their profiles were empty

Just
FYI
The phone rang and as usual I answered with that touch of vocal swagger I'm so greatly
known for.
the voice on the other end was timid and who could blame her it's not often
A writer gets to speak with a semi legend in the making well kind of look I can ******* dream okay.

Is this Gonzo?
The voice asked unsure in a world of pitfalls and scammers she had stumbled upon  the
true voice behind the madness it was like Christmas minus the annoying little ******* and terrible music.

Why yes yes it is.
Hey this is Lily Mae  it's really awesome to finally talk to you.
I understood her happiness it must have been what it was like to first realize
your idols were real  Lily was thrilled with excitement she rattled on a star struck
fan in the glow of the great one.

I'm so used to this by now as you can imagine being as awesome as I.
We spoke for hours on some of my favorite subjects like myself.
Duh what else is there to talk about well besides ******* and what a ******* this site has become.

You know you really are a mystery to most and it really works for you.
Well honestly that's mainly because of the whole outstanding warrants thing I said.
To which she laughed.
Although I don't know why being I was serious.

We chatted for hours on every subject under the sun.
she told me all about her interests like miniature golfing and arguing with  airhead teens
at writers café.

And A bunch of other things I cant recall cause I was far to busy hearing about how awesome I was .
Well you can't argue with the truth folks I know they  don't call me captain kickass for nothing.

So I bet you get a lot of girls writing you huh?
Duh of course I mean it gets so bad cause I mean I hate having to turn them down cause I'm like
yeah I know all you poetic chic's want to get with me but like I got to rest my ding ding sometime.

You wouldn't believe how bad it is I mean there's a lot of really weird people out there on the internet.
Yeah and I think I'm talking to the weirdest.

Seems this hamster was getting a bit jealous I couldn't blame her.
But I was like a wild turkey I  had to run cause I couldn't fly and that and I'm afraid of heights.
But I'm usually cool with getting high not that you should ever do drugs.
Cause look what doing to many drugs can do to your brain.

Hell the effects are clear just look at the people that run this place.

Umm Gonzo I got to go.
Seems being in the presence of greatness  had all the normal side effects
but honestly enough about peoples personal problems.

Hey don't take this the wrong way or anything.
I knew what she was going to say next oh silly fans like I told my last one
of course you can send me **** pics just not if your a dude.
Duh who wants to look at some dudes hairy sack it was just a faze I was going through okay!

Besides I had to have proof Justin Bieber was really a guy .
I'm kidding like he has hair on his *****.
Not that I would know but I mean he is Canadian it's just there culture okay.

Of course Lily just remember I have high standards I'm kidding I'm a total ****.
What she said confused seems she was experiencing a contact high yes I'm just that good.
What the hell are you talking about?

Look I know how it is to be in the presence of Gonzo
trust me even I cant keep my hands off myself.
Big shocker there Gonz  but hey switch it up sometimes and call it a double date.

Lily Mae not only is she a poet She's a pretty good smartarse as  well.

Gonz what I was going to say was .
Is that don't be hurt but your kind of  weird so don't try calling back cause I'm going to block your number.

I heard what she was saying and like most men I didn't let reality get in the way of my own ego fed
*******.

Sure she was saying I was weird and after talking to me she really wanted to take a shower .
But what she was really saying was.
She knew I was a loner a outlaw  and a true freebird minus the really long *** song
and drunken redneck fans with lighters held up.

She knew she couldn't tame the king of crazy so she would simply admire from afar like all the rest
hopefully without  a restraining  order or pepper spray that *******
**** burns much like the clap.
Not that I would know.


Umm Gonz are you there?

Yes little hamster I am and I fully understand be free my friend and stay crazy.
Uhh yeah you to and well I got to go your really creeping me out.
Adios Lily.

And just like that she was gone but I believe she took a great deal from the conversation
like don't talk to people from the internet and sometimes people who play crazy
truly are ******* crazy.

So remember if your ever alone and feel like just talking to someone.
You probably want to avoid me cause it's really not a act.
And I'll probably scare the ***** outta  you or make you take a bath  and if so I'm
just saying that web cam is got to get some use sometime.

Stay crazy hamsters  

Gonzo
based on a true event only the names and just how awesome it is to talk to Gonzo have been slightly changed to protect the innocent.

And remember your not ***** till I've put you in a Gonzo write.
Let us begin in the factoring of gin where the malefactors and blaggards try hard not to show us a grin.
and begin.
Factor out taste and factor in waste in the factory, in any case nobody cares,and the gin could be anything from nappies to ****** toys for the big boys and pearls for the girls,but we call it gin.
and begin.

They're all scammers,flim flamming their way from the start to the end of each day and we pay,through the nose,for **** knows what,(a touch of soylent green),get your brains on toast,shin for sunday roast and the marketeers,new age buccaneers blow us out of the water,someone should have taught me how cruel this life can be.
and we begin.

Back in the factory buying up gin with a passion,the fashionistas get ****** on the fumes and the poor people are shown only crap filled back rooms where the gnomes sit to **** out, tomorrow we'll sit out in the sun,spit out what's home spun and make money from telling funny jokes to the poker faced liars and the gin filled flash buyers who have bought up our Christmas and resold it to China,
'and it's another fine mess dear Laurel,please pass me the bottle of 'mist chloral'.
'Why certainly' said Stanley who seemed ever so manly in the valley when the dolls had gone home.
ZT  Mar 2016
SCAMMER!
ZT Mar 2016
It's amazing when I see
Scammers pretending to be
Someone else just to feel some glory
Oh, for them, I feel so sorry

how can they settle to be an imitation
When all they need is a little bit of contemplation
a little push of motivation
more on self-improvisation
and a whole lot of determination
And They could become God's best creation
and someone else's inspiration

Why settle at second best
When you can be the best

— The End —