The words I saw the other day on the bathroom stall read
"Glorified Prison"

MMMM, Cognitively thinking
to myself.
"This is my life"

In an instant flashback of
bent memories,
I thought about
the year
when
it all happened.
My heart started beating rapidly,
my brain collapsing,
My body drenched in sweat.
I was drowning.
Drowning inside a mental pool
and there was no life ring to save me.

I just stood there,
Mummified to the moment.
My eyes were glazed over as if I had glaucoma trying to stare
through a thick London fog.
Everything was disappearing
in front of me.
I saw it though, in my distant memory,
quickly flashing in front of me, like a shooting star across the sky,
then it was gone.

Gone to a place that I never recognized before.
A place that was out of some sort of bad dream.
That place. That brick house. Pitch black outside.
That kind of bad dream, "the worst kind of nightmare
that you can ever imagine"
and I couldn't wake up from it.
Make it go away!!
Please, Make it go Away!!
I am begging you.
STOP IT!!

His hands suffocating me,
but I could barely feel them
or hardly breathe, none the less.
Breathless in this moment.
I became to numb to my surroundings.
Trapped in my own seclusion
and by my own misdirection.
I was left wondering.

I had no idea what was going on.
Lost inside myself,
with unknown fear,
trapped inside that brick house
of malicious trepidation
and insidious manipulation.
I was being sexually violated
and I didn't know why
nor could I control it.

I was in a poisoned induced
coma of fear.
My mind was twisted
beyond reproach
as he continued his sadistic
and cruel usage of my body.
I was longer a human being,
I was just object for his enjoyment.

Escaping the insanity, I ran!!
Finally free or so I thought.
This mental torture has burdened
me for so long and has taken me down many diluted paths
of mistrust, misguidance
and internal, penalized
grief.
I am became lost unto myself.

I have grown to live inside
this Glorified Prison,
with no release date in site.
The torture that I was subjected to,
will never leave me.
So this prison has become solace.
It has also become my hell.
It is where I put on my shoes
and walk without fear but
it is also where I run away
from things.

Many times I begin to tremble when I think of
that nightmare.
It has become a seeded part of me.
It is who I am.
I am a survivor though.
One day I hope to be released
beyond the walls of this
glorified prison,
so I can finally be free.

Sophisticated creations created in sophistication
Humbly stumble your rocket ship upon us
Show us the ways of wisdom
The gears to greatness
Greetings from above…

Indescribably intuitive taking part of our tuition
Relaxing everybody with your percentages
Because everybody loves your mathematical mysteries mingling with minds mistaking us monitoring the minutes of our total misguidance
You guide us through that too…
Tactically tyrannical, democratically demonizing our demands
Demanding our demons
Because without the demons dictating our lusts as districts for us to be in
You are but a simple voice
Maybe so inhumanly loud and annoying
But incompetent
Powerless…that freaks you out…
Notorious nuzzles nurturing our children
Not so new of an idea
Because were used to getting
Tips of our rights smuggled through the windows you chose to open
Then smile and wave from up there
Because being like us is too mainstream
Becoming like us is an impossibility possible only when you become wood
Stiff wood
Moving around on shoulders
Standing in line on
The borders
Of dirt and human form
Following your followers with flowers on top of you facilitating your families fascinations that yes, youre gonna be alright down under
Flashback to the fudemental moments of your life
And you’ll realize
It’s when you killed the father
Suffocated the mother
Ripped the brother apart
And told the son…hey let me help you
But this is when you die…
If we all **** you in our minds youre dead
And only then…would “up there” be nothing but a shameful figure
Rather than a worshiped emblem of total *******
And only then…would we gain life…

words are lotus blossoms growing in muddy water reaching upward for
your heart now is the bottomless pit pointing towards oblivion repeating
yourself again and again i am never lonely said the powerful goddess
dearest tender soul with golden eyelashes comb my hair with folded
fingers i am the bringer of the harvest fresh fruit impresses the stars to
bursting as celestial songs abound and resound throughout eternity's
garden sri ram jai ram jai jai ram pulsing with yerba the santos sing
drunken Ubuntu if the juries find you guilty green gardenias will
blossom cascading droplets of thyme’s silence the smell of jasmine
flowers shower the dawn am i wrong to admit that i have always loved
you true this moment is just a passing tone on its own insignificant yet
strung together like tea leaves worn around the neck of children to
protect them from broken-hearted sirens use this love wisely for
whoever entrusted you with this warrior’s shield is counting on you to
hold on and yield not to the arms of any man’s brokenness
stubbornness is willful misguidance you are the beauty of a thousand
rainbows repeating the words of god colors shine in empty minded
splendor only for wisdom’s sake you shine new like the dawn and twice
as strong forever laughing at the caterpillar’s folly home is more likely
to be found while you are alone then with another more often than not i
have witnessed the distress of a tigress at seeing her cubs taken from
her arms vipers send silent signals that in turn signal the dancers to
start their turns in spiral arms of the galaxies my burning feet follow the
sun hot like coal the deserts bottom is made of sandstone and cotton
forests of flowering malanga and taro tell fortunes to the stars dream in
repose and stormy weather i am never afraid to become young and
open to the other in contact’s proximity breath becomes fire while
hearts send images into the ether read the words written upon blades
of sword wielding soldiers their fathers left them for far too long youth is wasted on television’s plagiarism heaven’s songs are formed in
basements by angels strung out and love struck with crazy wisdom
bracelets made from shackles intimidating cackles and feathers
reaching for the sun in moonlight’s quiver silver arrows gather words are lotus blossoms growing in muddy water reaching upward for
your heart now is the bottomless pit pointing towards oblivion repeating
yourself again and again i am never lonely said the powerful goddess
dearest tender soul with golden eyelashes comb my hair with folded
fingers i am the bringer of the harvest fresh fruit impresses the stars to
bursting as celestial songs abound and resound throughout eternity's
garden sri ram jai ram jai jai ram pulsing with yerba the santos sing
drunken Ubuntu if the juries find you guilty green gardenias will
blossom cascading droplets of thyme’s silence the smell of jasmine
flowers shower the dawn am i wrong to admit that i have always loved
you true this moment is just a passing tone on its own insignificant yet
strung together like tea leaves worn around the neck of children to
protect them from broken-hearted sirens use this love wisely for
whoever entrusted you with this warrior’s shield is counting on you to
hold on and yield not to the arms of any man’s brokenness
stubbornness is willful misguidance you are the beauty of a thousand
rainbows repeating the words of god colors shine in empty minded
splendor only for wisdom’s sake you shine new like the dawn and twice
as strong forever laughing at the caterpillar’s folly home is more likely
to be found while you are alone then with another more often than not i
have witnessed the distress of a tigress at seeing her cubs taken from
her arms vipers send silent signals that in turn signal the dancers to
start their turns in spiral arms of the galaxies my burning feet follow the
sun hot like coal the deserts bottom is made of sandstone and cotton
forests of flowering malanga and taro tell fortunes to the stars dream in
repose and stormy weather i am never afraid to become young and
open to the other in contact’s proximity breath becomes fire while
hearts send images into the ether read the words written upon blades
of sword wielding soldiers their fathers left them for far too long youth is
wasted on television’s plagiarism heaven’s songs are formed in
basements by angels strung out and love struck with crazy wisdom
bracelets made from shackles intimidating cackles and feathers
reaching for the sun in moonlight’s quiver silver arrows gather

the man of light
knows darkness all to well
he possess sacred knowledge
of source
a living experience with in
radiant
and self effulgent

he knows all is permitted
in the acculturated labyrinths of mind
rooted in bias
and incalculable distortions
a hell house ride
constructed of warbled mirrors
Leprechauns gold
an abusement park
of crepuscular
subconscious ethers
and concertized form
on shape shifting sands

creativity gone mad
where time undoes all
its weary inhabitants worn
they are the color of sleep
attaining misguidance
oh the vacuous business
of guided meditations
through azure skies and verdant fields
while the certified uninitiated
whisper
their pale voices against sonorous winds
as if they could lever boulders with broken twigs

stone churches
gothic crosses
temples of man
monoliths to the imaginary
fantastical man god
re-pleat with beard and ****....how quaint

adulations and prostrations
to there man made deity
through myth that binds
group think
other directed
un-individuated individuals
like tribal ants
a world of shattered light
a white knuckle ride
on a spinning mud ball

yet who knows the secret
of the inner light
the illuminated door
the portal through which
Scottie will really beam you up

The man of the mystic light
in a darkened freakish world
is he not an inconvenience
like a mentor to the deaf dumb and blind
he is rarely recognized
almost never believed

the light is not a metaphor
the source that emanates all
although formless and self effulgent
it is not a religion yet all abide with in it

in the dark funnel of conceit
man turns everything into a noun
as if naming is claiming
when what he seeks is beyond
for it is a great dimension of another order

konx om pax
light in extension