my mind is going insane
to where i have to
! pour
into this poem.
and i don't like venting.
she's not mine.
technically, she never was
and i can't be thinking this way--
with a girlfriend of my own
but how could i not when she looks at me like that ?
victoria, if you want me
just please
come and take me
take me into your embrace
it's all i can think about
all i can imagine
(and trust, it's not enjoyable
it taunts me in the late hours of the night)
your flushed skin with the
hot water running down your supple skin
i want her body on mine
but i shouldn't
and i burn,
lying in bed with the aching need
the anticipation because i know i'll see her tomorrow.
i only want you to look at me
when i'm pretty
i can't stand the idea
of you seeing me
at my worst. such a letdown
i can't walk down the campus halls
without passing by you
avoiding your gaze as you do the same
only for me to turn my head as you brush my shoulder
to see your eyes already on me.
this is so annoying, my god--
you had me
for all of october
but you didn't take me
you took advantage of me
it's unfair, honestly.
i have so many things i want to tell you
to share with you
but i dunno,
we'll always avoid each other.
is this how it'll be at graduation ?
i'll slip past you, and vice versa
only to turn
and see your dark eyes
ALREADY ON ME !
victoria, please !!
anything !!!
pull me in the empty classroom
push me in the backseat of my NSX-R
victoria, please !!
is that so much to ask for ?
your underlying urges
the romantic tension
that we both know
is much more than romantic
i can't tolerate this anymore
ic an 't tol er a te thi san ym or e
m ymin d ism ov in gin fra gm ents
i don' tkn ow w hati s re al an ymo re
ish ou ldp rob ab ly ge t s ome he lp !
victoria, please !!
(i can't tell if she's dumb or deliberate anymore guys-- does she want me after telling me to disregard her girlfriend who she was on no speaking terms with while she led me on for all of october while flirting and touching and showing up to my pep rallies just to see me dance while other people told me she was into me and checking me out and like we even had matching necklaces 'n everything and she religiously wore that ** until randomly stopping and supposedly reconnecting with her girlfriend and ghosting me for another month then randomly coming back to me then i confessed and she rejected me and she told me to stay her friend causing alllll these problems that i am to blame for apparently with her and her girlfriend, now ex that i solved with the help of my ex-best friend and everything was perfect for two months until they randomly dropped me, only for girlfriend-ex-girlfriend to tell F that she wanted an invite to my party and be nice to me for three days and not even tell me if she's gonna come then F tells me not to invite emely which is victoria ah hell i name dropped oh well anyways so i invite em to my party and everything is perfect kinda but i haven't talked to em since she mentioned unblocking me on instagram like you blocked me wow i'm offended then go back to ghosting to where it ends up being we only pass each other in the halls and turn to look then look away good god and now it's to the point where i just want you to slam me on a wall or shove me in the back of my car i totally missed so many details sorry for DUMPING that holyshit oh my go--)