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Ayeshah Sep 2013
He said we'd be happy, in love- together forever.

His Forever was 10 years, 8 months, 2 weeks, 4 days, 12 hours, 32 minutes, and 18 sec ago,

His Forever was me waiting for a love that wasn't truly there, a loyalty that only I gave,
empty words- promised after your battery and being choked out.

His Forever was me with many lonely nights and calls of concerned &my; ears listening to you laughing,
saying "i love you woman" yet its not me you've said this to, that was,
10 years, 8 months, 2 weeks, 4 days, 12 hours, 32 minutes, and 18 sec ago.

He said we'd communicate & work things out, be faithful, loyal and always devoted forever.
His Forever was 10 years, 8 months, 2 weeks, 4 days, 12 hours, 32 minutes, and 18 sec ago,

His Forever was me being an attentive house wife,mother to his children lover and intimate companion,friend, plus budget keeper and everything else he'd might of needed,
That was 10 years, 8 months, 2 weeks, 4 days, 12 hours, 32 minutes, and 18 sec ago,

His communication was speaking about me in a disrespectful way just to get sympathy from whom ever would sway his way
His communication was lying to me, lying to our children and everyone it'd seem- about everything,
from his wear about the newborn child and the money we, me & his children went with out,
we struggled when we never had to just so he could court a woman who apparently already has a man.

Sharing things with her and doting on her son, given her what should of been the promises he failed to keep with me.
His Forever was 10 years, 8 months, 2 weeks, 4 days, 12 hours, 32 minutes, and 18 sec ago,

His Forever was 10 years, 8 months, 2 weeks, 4 days, 12 hours, 32 minutes, and 18 sec ago,
Where he said he'd do anything in his power to make things better,
but that was 10 years, 8 months, 2 weeks, 4 days, 12 hours, 32 minutes, and 18 sec ago,

For Better become For Worse after only 3 to 4 years of marriage.

Until Death Do Us Part, was the death of what could of been something magical.

His Through Sickness& In Health was carried out by his DWI, and me continuously~ standing,supporting him & sticking by.

Yet when I needed him and stuck in the hospital there was no through sickness or in health.

His Forsaking all other, well that was the year before 10 years, 8 months, 2 weeks, 4 days, 12 hours, 32 minutes, and 18 sec ago,

Within the first year everything seemed perfect the illusion's of what we or I've striven to achieve...
If you're confused that was, 11 years, 8 months, 2 weeks, 4 days, 12 hours, 32 minutes, and 18 sec ago.

I remember holding hands and laughing for sometimes no reason at all,
Walks in the park sometimes down the street just to enjoy each others company.
Laying in bed gazing into each others eyes,hands entwined.

Love letters handwritten of all the lustrous and love felt feelings expressed where words vocally couldn't express,
A wedding day that made him cry and i watched 1 single tear fall from his eye as he said I do.
He didn't and never been that type of man since.

Fist on my face, slapped down choked and ****** assault, lies and stealing what little i had,
jail became his best friend, where he learned to hone his abilities to deceive.

But truth is,
I blamed me for a lot of it until I realized I gave all I can and did my best.
It wasn't me it was him and i had to leave, taking the children with me.

I can say all in all I've learned a painful lessons...

I'm only sad it took me,
10 years,
8 months,
2 weeks,
4 days,
12 hours,
32 minutes,
and
18 sec!*

Always Me Ayeshah ®
Copyright ©
Ayeshah
K.C.L.N 1977 - Present YEAR(s)
All right reserved ®
Mystic Ink Plus Feb 2018
Benefit overcomes side effect
A little piece of heaven with
A little piece of hell
Red one with lunch
Heart shaped, just took once
White one, 12hours apart, AM-PM
Cute one, if needed in sleepless nights
Helps all senses ravishes in delight

Once missed a pill, allowed me to judge clearly
Something isn't right
Now, I realize how it made me feel
Sweat sediment like a dawn dew
Pill behold an unparallel beauty
Treat it like a piece of timeless art
Struggle trying to be the same, with a
Wish of a different past

Celebrate "No Pills Day"
A better life I wish to pursue
Feeling wild and free.
Genre: Clinical abstract
Shared from my Anthology, Canvas: Echoes and Reflections, 2018.
Rocksteadylety Mar 2020
I welcome the guides of the highest truth and compassion
To take me with you tonight
I’ve lost sight and all Passion.

On the corner of my bed
I got lost in the wall
Nothing was said
Nothing at all

I laid my head back, my attention to the ceiling.
Please take me now, I don’t like this feeling.

My sadness like then night air
I can’t touch or see it, but to painful to bare
“Take me, take me”
It became a prayer...

Silver owl that’s when I met you.
I was letting love down, and you didn’t let me
I was gonna stay down
Free me from me.
When I felt your warmth
Encompass me whole
And then I saw black,
In dream state I woke
Wondering what had become of my soul


You held me close
you whispered in my ear;
“I’ve been with you since you were born,
I’m here now my dear there’s no need to fear.
I was born of your mothers, mother
My energy is strong. Negativity I smother”

TRUST THE PROCESS
The ups, the downs
the highs, and the lows
This pain is a lesson,
the more you will know

You are now awake.
Open all three eyes.
This is a gift, You will seek truth from where there is lies.

I love you now and I will love forever
Wake up stardust
Begin your human endeavor

I woke up 12hours going on 29 years later.
I wrote this poem after I became spiritually aware on December 25th 2017
You work at the mines mate?
You must be raking it in?!

"Awake at 5, sometimes before
Hivis and boots then out the door
No one to kiss goodbye
Just go.

Give a nod and half smile to nightshift
Sleep still in the eyes
Roll on in for prestart
A dingy container powered by a loud generator
Say g'day to the boys and the supervisor.

Get in trouble, for not being clean shaved
Apologies, forgot, all good, here's a razor
Dry shave, water lubricant
Try to complain but the money's too good.

8 more days, just push through the heat
Worn out boots and swollen feet
Paperwork galore, but wait, there's more
There's been an incident and my feet are sore.

The misso didn't text
The kids are a handful
She's 2 flights away so carry on
Just stay strong.

Head in the game, eyes on the job
We must prevent complacency
With reiterating the same thing
Over and over and over again.

We all dress the same
"King Gee" orange overalls
We all smell the same
Except for the supervisors.

Sulpher and acids and alarms and things
Risks and controls and signatures
Old mate forgot to sign on
He won't last, cos he forgot to sign on.

Eyes on task, line of fire, rah rah rah
Just get the job done
With an itchy face
And an idiot that won't shut up.

12hours of push
Crib breaks with strangers
The misso still hasn't touched base
Miss her touch and beautiful face.

Just realised, the shift is over
As the sun sets over the smelter
Pack up, *******, couple beers at the mess
Too tired to realise, she still hasn't text.

Boots and hivis left by the door
(**** my feet are sore)
Fast asleep before my head hits the bed
Awake at 5, do it again."

Yeah mate, it's not too bad...
Ive worked in mining for over 20years. It is not as cracked up as it sounds...

— The End —