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Lost Soul Oct 2018
We ask people that everyday
How have you been ?
I never know what to say
Should I say how I'm actually feeling
I don't think you're prepared
For what I'm concealing
When I say I'm fine I'm not
When I say I had a good week
I'm not mentioning all the demons I fought
Sometimes I admit I'm struggling
People tell me choose joy! Live with less stress
You have to much your juggling
I almost start to cry
They don't get it
Its not that easy, I try
But its as if my joy is on the other side
of the window i can't quite open
I scratch, hit, and pull but it wont slide
All I feel is the ice cold from the glass
I just needed you to listen
Don't try to blow smoke up my ***
If I'm less busy i have more time
For my mind to wonder
For me to fall in a dark hole, I cant climb
I guess the only way for this to be fixed
Is to say I'm good
and lie through my lips
How are you?
I'm fine.
Dani Dec 2018
Addicted, I joke of my obsession
Obsessed? I laugh at it’s truth
Live life, move on, go on
It will come around, I know
One day this building will fall on top of me
Crumbling me under the rocks
But I am addicted to whats inside
I cannot let it go
The smell, the taste, the feel
Most of all.. The adrenaline.
It hits and holds, like a drug better than any other
No need for pills or syringes.
No smoke or bowl to pack
Just a mental addiction for physical pleasure
I cannot stop, I cannot stop, I cannot let go
I cannot stop
Andres Martinez Jul 2018
Let's talk about the things we normally wouldnt
And let's act upon those thoughts that we probably shouldn't
If I had it my way..well actually I couldn't
I'd rather not
I'm afraid things might not work
And  the thought of possibly ruining another good thing
I guess it might be worth it
But are the signs there or do I just misinterpret
maybe a silver toungued devil but never a serpent
feel free to run around the grass
it's been well kept
Remember that feeling because when you get back to your side it might feel dead
just want to show you the finer things nothing big
nothing fancy
no designer mink
just a simple talk
A laugh
Not even a drink
Drunk words speak sober thoughts
might spill things well that I rather not.
DuBray Oct 2017
Life is like a fire
Struggling

Like rocks in a river
Resisting

Like trees in the wind
Opposing

Life is like a fire
To attend

To expire
To keep as a friend
There is beauty in the struggle but only if you make it..
Truly I am humbled by the stars around the spaceship..
Marla Apr 11
Fighting my demons in a cage
With this mounting rage
Boiling up throughout my veins.
If I could snap now,
You bet I would.

Learning to live with ancient pains
Scarring my feeble brain
As she soaks in her bloodstain.
If I could snap now,
You bet I would.

Standing out on the edge
Wishing I was dead
As the wind pushes my head.
If I could snap now,
You bet I would.

But my life ain't history
There's still plenty left to see
Like a day when I stand free.
I know I can't snap now,
I've got to see it through.
Mom
Who cares for you Mom, when you
cry alone?
You give and you give
so much
to your children
and to all who are fortunate enough
to cross your path

But what about you, Mom?
Who holds your hand when your shoulders shake
from the strain
of getting up
and moving on
even when all you want to do is curl up
and have one more minute
before facing the day

Its okay Mom, sit down for a bit
take that breath you needed
you don't have to be strong all the time
why should you, when your in
the deep end
flailing for peace
clawing for acceptance
and fighting to find the meaning
behind
every
blow
that's dealt

Your dreams, something to cherish in
quiet moments
have been shoved to the bottom of your
starving soul
for so long
you cannot hear their screams anymore

What I would give to heal your wounds
and take away the heartbreak
for you deserve to sing until
like a balm
it soothes away internal festering

"Chin up," they say, "You are brave."
Well I say, "Head down, dear one."
"There is bravery in the strength it takes
to show that you are hurting."

So Mom, when you are struggling
to deal with a unending sea
of pain
close your eyes
breath in
and out
wade into the dark waters
and let
the healing
begin.

-Esther L. Krenzin-
-Roguesong-
To Mom. Who is the strongest woman I know. Who has faced death, and pain and loss. Yet she is still standing. To all the brave mothers out there.
You are seen.
You are appreciated.
And you are loved.
Sienna Oct 2018
I cried again tonight
Thinking about why he left

Why do I do this to myself?
It’s time to move on

But for some reason
I feel like Im back at square one.
I guess I just miss him.
What4221 Jul 2018
action

actiON

ACTION!

Painted stage
Painted lips
Painted face

Eyes glow and watch from darkness and your smile shows sharp teeth

(Come and dance with me)

Wooden stage
Wooden mask
Wooden eyes

After centuries of acting, you’d think we'd know how to act alive

(Let’s burn this place down)

The conductor and the cameras and the jerking strings of fate

Puppet show
False hopes
Thought we had control but it’s too late

(The camera has glowing red eyes)

(You say it looks like a demon in disguise)


I’m real life and paper sketches
Stretched thin over a thousand lives
Barely living mine
While you write how I die again

(I’m not the hero- I don’t get the happy end)


Sudden hot breath and something like sin
A sound near my ear
I can’t let them win
But the cameras are rolling
I’m just an actor on stage
And when parents catch their kids watching
They say I’m the one to blame

We’re spiraling down-
Cutesy plays in elementary
And wild songs and dances
And then suddenly
We forget we need to advance

Put my name on an application-
Just more paper, lost to the wind

You dragged me to lights
And then you dragged me to sin

But the pays good
So I guess I’ll let you win.
Alaina Moore Jan 22
I've hit a wall lately
A wall so tall it seems impassable.
I wake up daily to it encompassing my bed.
Making waking up a test of endurance.
Once I'm passed that, there's just another wall.
Around social interactions, work, moving, and to be honest.
It's all just ******* walls.
Walls I thought I broke down, that are now 10x as big.
Did I mention my fear of heights?
I take pills that are supposed to help,
and they do, but these halflives are nothing compared to these walls.
They're made not of cement but of sentiment and wicked dreams.
Thoughts of all the horrible options that could be.
Thoughts of a depressed self and a depressed spouse.
"You think the kid can tell?" That I'm loosing my grip?
That I'm terrified of the monsters under the bed?
I'm immobilized by my own mind like a car tire boot on my will to try.
Wish someone would tow me off to oblivion.
Or at least a place I could relax.
I'd modestly ask for just a few moments escape.
From all these walls
The thuds in my chest stopped being my heart a long time ago-
my feelings ceased,
and maybe me,
the initial person I was,
is knocking on my ribs
begging for freedom.
Throughout all the voices in my head,
his is the lowest,
getting tangled in with all the
killers that took him,
torturing him until he's nothing but a headstone.
You don't see it,
but I do,
how I open my mouth to speak,
and he's accepted I just won't accent my words the way he used to.
My disappointment tore up your eyes,
as you saw the person I was
formed by a web of lies I loved to string up,
and tried to pretend I wasn't struggling to
get out-
All feedback is welcome
I wanted to do something emotional, I hope this conveys that.
Are you out there my Friend.? ? Somewhere The Wind is blowing..? Where your footprints are gone as soon as left. No one to know. No one Knowing.?
       Are you in the Wind? ? A voice, distant, lost in the swirl of snow and Autumn leaves.? Your way Home...unknown.
       The next step taken, but down what path.? Will it lead through this wood, or wander Forever this Dismal forest of Bramble and Thorn? No shelter in sight. No sheltering insight.
Crows with eyes bright. Plucking at your at your sleeves and dress. Catching your skin, bleeding you like a priest with a fleem. Leaving you wounded and hurt., weary and wary.
       If you stand still but a moment., cease your struggling, stumbling and listen. you'll hear my voice.
On the Wind
Calling you Home.
Safe within the walls and warmth of my arms.
For Brittany. Your looking for what you already found.
Stéphanie Aug 2018
I feel jailed in my own body
socially forced to conceive
emotionally sick
hurt within

Scared to transmit pain
in this age of depression
reminding my ancestors' culpability;
will I also hurt my descendant?

Struggling to finish a phd
in this age of precarity
thinking it might push me;
Or, will I fail it all?
Dirk Salimus Aug 2018
As the rays of the sun strikes upon my eyes
Is an another day full of deceit and lies
As I wake up right under where the skies lie
Is an another day full of mourns and endless cry

I always felt that it is me against the world or two
With no shoulder to cry on ,No arms to hold onto
Heck,I even feel like the world's one and only adversary
The eyes of whom I love and dear,even tells a different story

Hit me,cuss on me, judge the way I live my own life
But I'll keep on standing up like I haven't been hurt
Shoot me with those acts,stab me by your words as knife
But I will and I will always do remember the truth and my worth

Each day is a day of battle and chaotic war
After all,I'm proud of myself and how did I get this far
So I'll keep on going and hustling,'til on the day that I die
And as long as the rays of the sun strikes upon my eye
Keep hustling as long as you're alive and waking up
Vicki Kralapp Aug 2012
Rising from ashes like the fabled phoenix
Growing out of nothingness to a possibility of life
I am but a tiny whisper of a breath, still struggling to be.  
with life renewed yet to be lived.

I am born to a freedom to be
what I will… what I choose to be.
Can I truly be all that I am; what I was made to be?
My slate is wiped clean by you.  

Debts repaid and fears released,
Replaced by age and broken hearts.
Why did this have to be so harrowing a life.
Why did I have to die to live?
All poems are copy written and sole property of Vicki Kralapp.
Vicki Kralapp Aug 2012
The night is closing in as the rain is drumming on the drain outside.
Long streaks on the window run like tears down my cheeks
reminding me of you.

The oneness of being alone is swallowing me alive,  
eating me from the inside out,
from my heart to the arms that once held a love.

I am struggling to make it through the puddles
and the moat that has wrapped itself around my heart;
afraid of getting wet again, afraid to get hurt.

The cold and damp have camped out in my soul,
without the warmth of the fire of love
to keep me warm.

You moved me to take a chance and make a change
scaring the hell out of me along the way.
I should have listened to the voice inside  
and stayed away.
All poems are copy written and sole property of Vicki Kralapp.
eng jin Nov 2018
I swim,
under the twilight sky,
my heart is pounding & my arms are paddling,
struggling to breathe,
yet I push on,
to reach the other wall.

I hear,
muffled splashes
across the lanes as swimmers glide by,
though I could hardly see,
yet I could feel,
one of them fills the pool.

I wonder,
why I press on,
for my health or for my heart?
by now my legs are aching and my arms are heavy,
yet it is a joy,
to be in my hiding place.
Nat Lipstadt Feb 2015
this is a very important poem to me,
about me, and how Obama slurred my people. and never apologized

<•>

there are mornings when I wake up
in my nativity,
in my born/bred,
these struggling to be happy,
United States,
strangely hebrew-speaking,
Jamaican coffee
morning-thinking,
tallying up
what I am,
who I am,
commanded to be,
on this Earth

the labels that the
outward-looking apply,
the tags,
that you have caused
yourself to be defined,
been staked
to your claim,
in infamy and in fame,
that you have
by action and indeed,

have allow
to be presented
as entries on your
global entry passport,
with visas from the
lows and highs,
places where
your have sinned and saved,
all the acts accumulated,
and those,
in pain,
you have been a witness to

word titles that
tinge and suffuse,
summation of my presentation,
sampler of words
like
father, poet,
American,
even,
a for-real
community organizer,
and of course,
bien sûr,
a
Jew

the quality of all these life's papers,
which I grade myself,
I,
the harshest marker
of all

once a young man,
safely away in college,
under the fresh-air freedom of the
university's in loco parentis,
in the early years
spent quantifying oneself

nearly fifty years ago,
now he,
revealed and recalled
when
his college typed-letter,
lately uncovered amidst his,
recently passed mother's papers

"Don't know what kind of
Jew
I will be, but be assured,
that I will be a
Jew
all my life"

so here I am doing my post-sabbath,
top of the week,
right it down,
qualifying myself,
coffee enraged engaged,
a new Sunday tally

taking all my terms,
reordering,
re-prior-itizing,
what was prior, first,
is no longer

decades decay,
events sway,
simple words change me, stain me

nearing on five decades later,
when this
son of speakers,
son of humanists and 
son of
 writers,
son of proud
Jews
rewrites his list

today I write/substitute,
a new order,
a tag gladly taken,
a marker given,
some what in pride,
some in shame too,
first and foremost,
à la manière d'Lincoln
I am
of, by and for

"a bunch of folks in a deli"

proud member of them
that so identify,
for they are among those
that shall not perish from the Earth

those
happenstance-not,
bunch of folks in a deli,
I claim as
mine own,
as they would
have claimed me

no subtly professed,
a diminishment intended,
and now
an honorific taken,
Medal of Honor provoked and embraced,
proudly inscribed,
visible on my forehead,
in the black ink of mourning,
a Presidential Cain Citation,
a tattoo of letters,
not numbers,
now moves up to
head of the list,
I am
now and forever,
a member of that corps
(appreciate that double entendre)
I am
Je suis
JE JUIF

*"a bunch of folks in a deli"
Just google that phrase

Obama’s slur
ryn Oct 2014
Red
Strange malaise,
One I can't place.
Struggling of late.
Discomforting state.

Persistent lethargy.
Sloth-like and heavy.
Burning internals.
Frequent intervals.

No temperature.
No warning lever.
Don't know what's wrong.
Been rather long.

Medicine trough
Can't rid me this cough.
Expulsion so violent,
Incessantly recurrent.

Over a fortnight
This ailment I fight.
Still hasn't eased.
Can't be appeased.

Development is seen.
Now spitting green.
Not just all
That joined this brawl.

It's just the coughing.
No injury I'm suffering,
I haven't bled...

But I see red...
:(
Morgan Mercury Oct 2014
My love is vast.
My love is strong.
My love is driven by the thought
of you noticing me one day.
Although I am told that some love never blooms
like flowers struggling during the bitter colds.
I have nothing to offer you.
All I have are my bones.
They hold me up
on days I feel like a bird with broken wings,
but I will always love you with the lights on.
I will care for your wounds
until you're able to fly again.
Until you can reach the moon.
So play your guitar
and sing your songs.
I will admire you from afar
as you carry on.
Don't worry about me.
I'm not trying to come off as a creep
but I love your eyes,
and how they look like dark coffee.
I love the way you speak.
Each word a melody.
Every sentence a song.
I'm caught on your hook.
I could listen all day long.
I'm lost in your music
while you're lost in this madness.
So don't worry my dear,
the flowers will someday bloom.
I shall save these words for you.
I'll read them out to you,
but only once during the blue moon.

You're a sweetheart and a really brave bird.
So walk with me to the edge of the earth
and I will share you all my secrets,
and you will share me yours.
We'll tie them both to balloons
and let them go.
Lay with me down on this pearly dew-drop grass.
We'll watch the clouds travel to and fro,
just stay with me in this perfect spot.
You don't have to go.
2014
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