"Funny, I don't remember no good dope days. I remember walking for miles in a dope fiend haze. I remember sleeping in houses that had no electric. I remember being called a ******, but I couldn't accept it. I remember hanging out in abandos that were empty and dark. I remember shooting up in the bathroom and falling out at the park. I remember nodding out in front of my sisters kid. I remember not remembering half of the things that I did. I remember the dope man's time frame, just ten more minutes. I remember those days being so sick that I just wanted to end it. I remember the birthdays and holiday celebrations. All the things I missed during my incarceration. I remember overdosing on my bedroom floor. I remember my sisters cry and my dad having to break down the door. I remember the look on his face when I opened my eyes, thinking today was the day that his baby had died. I remember blaming myself when my mom decided to leave. I remember the guilt I felt in my chest making it hard to breathe. I remember caring so much but not knowing how to show it. and I know to this day that she probably don't even know it. I remember feeling like I lost all hope. I remember giving up my body for the next bag of dope. I remember only causing pain, destruction and harm. I remember the track marks the needles left on my arm. I remember watching the slow break up of my home. I remember thinking my family would be better off if I just left them alone. I remember looking in the mirror at my sickly completion. I remember not recognizing myself in my own **** reflection. I remember constantly obsessing over my next score but what I remember most is getting down on my knees and asking God to save me cuz I don't want to do this no more !!!"
- Delaney Farrell

When they killed my mother it made me nervous
I thought to myself, it was right:
Of course she was crazy, and how she ate!
And she died, after all, in her way,  for the state.
But I minded: how queer it was to stare
At one of them not sitting there.

When they drafted sister I said all night,
"It's healthier there in the fields";
And I would think "now I'm helping to win the war,"
When the neighbors came in, as they did, with my meals.
And I was, I was, but I was scared
With only one of them sitting there

When they took my cat for the Army Crops
Of conservation and supply,
I thought of him there in the cold with the mice
And I cried, and I cried, and I wanted to die.
They were there, and I saw them, and that is my life.
Now there is nothing. I'm dead, and I want to die

                                                                      Randall Farrell (1914-1965)

Man that dog is Farrell
He got me like I’m single
Got a lighter for a lady
Come and say maybe
Spend some time with me
Show enough we keep
Stepping on a beat
Come dance with me
I think he got me on a leash
But I can speak fast
When my mind unwrapps
Bout to tap that
But walking in the street
Feels clean to me
Stopping on Ferret
Gonna win that bet
No ciggerettes please
But my lungs got needs

And I can’t stop thinking of you.