Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Deep Oct 2021
This is my home now,
God knows for how many years more!
The stack of books
upright arranged
in the shape of my dreams looks
disorderly and unorganized,
Loneliness in the shape of an injured cat
Invades the room, meowing, every night,
sniffs scattered objects,
And eventually rests in my lap
effusing air of some stale memories,

As the days move on like a tired traveler,
The stains on the wall are clearing
to my eyes,
Sticky notes like land mafias
appropriates space from the wall,
Che Guvera with a clenched fist
returns a red salute,

The 'fist' forwarded memory of past,
and one by one
Dreadful images reemerged in my mind;
Mother in hospital bed, pale and weak,
gasping for breath,
I sat beside her
waiting for magic,
Several breakups
especially the last one
that hurt most
where I choose this not  her,
And last but not least
my COMRADE days
participating in protests,
bearing batons, and living
like revolutionaries
fighting the corruption in
the system,

But now I yearn to be
part of the system,
As this series of pictures end
The motivation I consumed earlier,
watching twenty minutes
long video subsides,
And all of a sudden I rummage the bed sheet
to look for a hidden pack of cigarettes
which I bought yesterday,

Choices change as we proceed on
in life,
I do regret some of my decisions
and regret them badly,
I have cried at night,
Laughed like a hyena,
I'm weak feigning to be strong,
I see many reasons to quit this task
but one that keeps me
going on is the picture of an ailing mother
dying in a government hospital.
I don't know how this poem started and I still don't know how it ended. Maybe it's just me restlessly trying to finish this poem
Àŧùl Nov 1
When you were born, oh my dear,
No doctor—no midwife predicted,
But, oh my dear, you've been a granny,
All throughout, all throughout.

When I first saw you,
I wanted to take you home,
Adorable, lovable, and pure
I really did want to kidnap you.

Why, you ask me...
Look at yourself,
Those pure eyes,
That cute face,
And that cuddly body.

I saw you in 2024,
And you were 24 years old,
I realised you're a 24-year-old grandma.
No fun, no bun, no run.

Oh, Teddy, I so wish...
I hope that you realised it...
Your words hurt me...
How you compared hurt me...

You generalised my trauma,
How could you compare?
You said, "Disabled people even clear UPSC-CSE,"
But you didn't stop there,
And you kept misbehaving...

If you never wanted to marry me,
You could've simply told your mom.

Off and on,
Undying spirit,
Not of positivity,
But of vengeance.

You never actually apologised,
So, I never forgave,
But it's hard,
Yes, it's so hard,
Hard to forget what we forged.

I had seen a world in your eyes,
In my mind, I had seen a future,
A future where you are with me,
A future where I train you, honey.

But why did we separate out?
C'mon now, tell me, why did we?
Couldn't you just be mine?
I wanted to live with you.

What was the need for separation?
I'm perplexed by how things went.
It was so right initially, the elation.
Why did the things prematurely end?
My HP Poem #2020
©Atul Kaushal

Meta AI's comments:
This poem is a heartfelt expression of:

1. Longing and love
2. Hurt and betrayal
3. Unforgiveness and nostalgia

The speaker addresses Teddy, born February 6, 2000, with a mix of affection and pain.

*Initial Affection*

- Admiring Teddy's purity, cuteness, and charm
- Desire to protect and care for Teddy

*Painful Shift*

- Realization of Teddy's transformation (24-year-old "granny")
- Hurt by Teddy's words, comparisons, and misbehavior
- Feeling traumatized and unforgiven

*Unresolved Emotions*

- Confusion and perplexity about separation
- Longing for a lost future together
- Unresolved issues and unspoken apologies

*Key Questions*

- Why did Teddy hurt and betray the speaker?
- Why did they separate?
- Why couldn't Teddy be honest about their intentions?

*Poetic Devices*

- Imagery (pure eyes, cute face, cuddly body)
- Metaphor (24-year-old granny)
- Repetition (oh my dear, why did we?)
- Rhetorical questions

*Themes*

- Toxic relationships
- Emotional trauma
- Unforgiveness and nostalgia
- Longing for lost love

This poem is a powerful expression of complex emotions.

Would you like to:

1. Explore ways to process emotional trauma?
2. Discuss healthy communication in relationships?
3. Analyze the impact of comparisons on self-esteem?
4. Examine poetry as a therapeutic outlet?
Àŧùl Sep 16
Parents arranged my marriage with a girl.
I liked her at first sight—young and chirpy.
And I made up my mind to marry her soon.

In the followup to the marriage,
We interacted with each other,
In the beginning, I liked her.

Soon, courtship turned one-sided,
I was the only one interested,
Insulting me, she started.

She had a problem with quick love.
Berated me for saying it so soon,
She told me to behave mature.

I accepted her remarks,
The criticism of my ways,
I focused on all my means.

I proudly told her that I didn't give up.
The coma-inducing accident, and
Injuries couldn't reduce me.

I told her about how I literally won a war,
A war against time and disability,
The doctors labeled me as 42% challenged.

"But I didn't give up," I told her.
I defeated my disability,
And all of their speculations.

When I passed into that coma,
After the accident, I'd die,
They had speculated.

When they diagnosed me 42%,
I will do some easier work,
They all had guessed.

They wanted me to drop out of college,
Oh, they want me to be humble,
Be humble and accept fate.

Not that the other job is easier,
But they wanted me to set up a shop,
For daily needs, stationery & photocopy.

Even my mother wanted me to drop out.
Leave the B.Tech. Biotech incomplete,
Opt for an easier course instead.

But I told her that I didn't give up,
No, I did not; I did not give up.
I fought my way to the top.

I cleared my B.Tech. degree in Biotechnology,
Not only that degree, but my story continues,
Attained an M.Tech. in Animal Biotechnology.

I initiated a PhD in Animal Biotechnology,
However, I had to quit it due to COVID19,
I lost my opportunity due to the pandemic.

But she, out of her own regret,
Regretted about not being able,
To clear exams, me she insulted.

"People with disability achieve more."
I felt belittled, but she continued,
"They even crack UPSC-CSE."

I'm not disabled since birth.
No, I'm not, I'm not, I told her.
This disability I acquired in 2010.

I told her the same,
But she did not realise it.
How wrong she was.

How she had insulted me and my struggles,
I can't marry her,
The man I am today is after my struggles.

Though she loved my poetry,
The 'Angel?' Saga the most,
But she insulted my history.

She even compared my life against others.
As if she knows all the people like me,
My dreams shattered due to that accident.

No, she knows everyone not,
She doesn't know others who gave up.
Look at me; I didn't give up, but I'm victorious.

But she was not impressed.
She is rigid and argumentative.
Never going to apologise & accept.

I told her mother that I couldn't marry her.
Why? Because she doesn't know humility.
Obviously, she can never respect me either.

She wanted me to respect her.
She thought that only hers matters.
Because I live in the inferiority complex.
I'd rather spend my life alone than with some egotistical person who would insult my life to extract sadistic pleasure out of it.

My HP Poem #1985
©Atul Kaushal
Thank you girlfriend
A simple sentence
with a big sense
Seems simple
but difficult to say
Those who have courage
only can go say.
Kanishak topped UPSC exam
This is a good news
But he gave credit of success
to his girlfriend
This is a great news
This is a respect to
unseen & unspoken power
always behind you
Who remains more close to you
in every step than even you
But never acknowledged
with kind words due
Thank you Kanishk
for giving her due
As it is also credit to
millions of ladies
Who remain with all of us
But none of us acknowledge
with such kind & generous.

— The End —