i shouldn't be allowed to like things.
you know what i do.
you've seen.
i've heard.
so shinyprettyprecious.
so new.
this thing.
it makes me want to curl up and die,
i love it so.
let's run the tape back and see that one more time--
one more time--
one more time--
one more time--
one more time--
let's run the tape back--
every once over
every last glance
every 'oh it's so beautiful'
i want to shove my words back down my throat
make sure they're properly digested
it's too perfect.
too good to be true.
certainly too good
for you.
'well you see, this is what your problem is...'
you're stuck in a fantasy, you are
do you not see this?
yes i do.
i know it, and i see it every time, thank you.
you are so wise.
how could i not see?
******' a.
indeed.
i don't need to be reminded.
i am well aware.
i think i've learned enough on my own.
you were there.
you saw.
i told you everything.
you know the tale better than myself,
and it was i who endured the affair.
oh christ.
hey, let's not bring Him into this, okay?
you're right, i apologize.
we know better.
yes we do.
is it as good as when it started?
was it ever that good?
does it need to be?
will this always be this way?
"is this going to be forever?"
oh 'God' i hope.
if there is someone on the other end of this rope
please pull me up.
meet me on the other end
see if we can't
make the most out of this dance floor.
i want to talk until my throat is raw.
you kiss my lips until i swear i saw
my future in a song i never heard before.
the sound reverberates
reverberates
my stomach shakes
heartbeating in my throat
and breaks
into a million tiny pieces
floating above our heads.
better than wearing it on my sleeve
i'll just throw it on the ground for you
to pick it up.
hold it forever.
it's yours.
or raise your foot and bring it down
as you probably should.
maybe all i want is to be miserable
so the pursuit of happiness
will never end.
every day a little better than before
every day a little more hopeful for
what we've promised ourselves we'll find.
a clever trick if you can
believe in your own lies...
the happiest man is
the one who feels
the least discomfort with
the lies he tells himself.
you've become addicted to life
and the pleasures that it brings you
and every day you spend
still breathing
shows your greed for what isn't yours.
and that may be so,
that i'm an addict,
and if it is
i hope i die of an overdose:
happy and a liar.