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in the deepest and utmost corner of my heart
the pain is being hidden

and on the outside
you will witness
my sweetest smile

if only
you will catch a glimpse
behind those eyes
is the loneliness that being kept

if only
you will stop and stare for awhile
you will find out
that i am in despair

i was wondering
if the saying

"in the eyes you will see the real feelings of a person"

is true

because why can't you see?

that i am

alone

crying

and

dying

inside?*

©IGMS
the twin of love is pain
'Take your dream as far as you can'- tear up the 
roots of the dead flowers, grab the branches 
above you and swing into the unreal vision of 
reality, breathe the air of spaces unknown, 
carrying with you the experiences of pressing 
thoughts, the sudden surprises of youth, the 
views that, with a flash of excitement, open up 
great wide vistas, and magnetise your senses 
to fly into their psychedelic embrace. 

Float along on the streams of life, like the 
autumn leaf, after dipping and diving, 
as it finds the calm of a lake's edge 
and oscillates in the quiet breezes, 
gathering the last rays of the setting sun, 
before it sinks, to become new life. 

Dance to the sound of the song bird, 
the drip of the rain, the swirl of the clouds 
and the dramatic movement in an opera when 
all voices join, and sound their messages 
out to the universe of stars and planets. 

Feel with your hands the shape of the future, 
smoothed and polished, slippery and textured, 
bumpy and sharp; become a new form of 
yourself, create something out of your own 
arsenal, using your whole being.
 
Touch the page with the tip of the brush, the 
full wash across the hand made paper, the 
colours of all nature, the scarlets, the azures, 
the emeralds, the golds, in hallucinations that 
are real, mysteries that metaphorically express 
the quick of your spirit, and are seen to be art.

Margaret Ann Waddicor 29th October 2012.

Written the same day... On my way home the dry Autumn leaves dancing cart-wheels past me, and did tap dancing on the tarmac, it was quite loudly they rattled past and flew away ahead of me as if like a flock of chattering children, rust brown and ochre colours doing their kind of wind dance, how wonderful all these percussion-like noises nature makes; just like the ice on the lake where the children were throwing blocks onto the hard surface, the sounding - box of the lake itself making that eerie kind of clang of sound that at first I thought might be some strange bird. I took up a video on my iPhone, but **** it, having fingers that were near frozen they didn't manage to push the tiny lever over from pure photography, so, to my great disappointment I when I got back there were only photos of it. Such is life!!!
It doesn't men that my life hasn't had set backs, cancer in five places, I have decided not to have any more, I must get on with my life. Not worried about dying whenever that comes. But blessed with a parents with a joy of life, I have it too, come what may.
I put some money into a vending machine
I was in the mood for a soft drink
A man about my age was staring at me
I didn't quite know what to think
He walked up to me and said
"Do you realize you just paid 5 euros for that?"
"Is that too much?" I asked
He shook his head yes and chuckled
Feeling so embarrassed
I began to walk away
When he said out loud "Wait!"
He took some keys out of his pocket
and opened up the machine
He gave me back the money I was owed
I told him "You didn't have to do that"
He replied "I know that but I wanted to"
then he kindly smiled

We sat waiting for the bus
as we fell into conversation
He asked me if I was American
I told him that I was
"How are you liking Bristol?" he asked "Is it everything you imagined it to be?"
"Actually no" I answered "It's better than I imagined it."
We conversed about my stay here
I told him I was here visiting a friend
He admitted that he wished he would have met me sooner
because I seemed like an interesting gal
We ended up going for a walk
stopping for a break at St George Skatepark
He asked me if I was looking forward to going back home
I told him that I wasn't
"All you ever hear about is London, Manchester and many others city's
people think those are the only places in England worth getting to know
After being here in Bristol for this entire week
I have falling in love with this place and it will break my heart to go."

After a few seconds of silence he said "Then don't go. Marry me and you won't have to go."
"That is illegal" I replied back in shock
"Not if we never divorce" he said very seriously
"I don't even know you. I met you an hour ago" I said still in shock
"Alright" he told me taking a seat on the ground "Here is what you need to know
I am a bit messy, in fact I am a major slob
however I feel that after living with a woman for some time
that bad habit will eventually stop
I am a huge breakfast person
I could eat breakfast all day
I can cook too so if you are ever hungry just let me know
and I will start cooking away
I have a **** job but I make decent money
I don't live in a mansion or anything but it's a place to live
so either way I am happy
My friends are total idiots, they are in fact a group of arseholes
but they are there for me when I need them and
I know they would love to meet you
I know I am not that good looking but I will treat you right
I will put you first always as long as you never go to bed angry with me at night
I know we have known each other for only an hour
Maybe what I am asking is illegal
but I seem to have fallen in love with you
So marry me and we can work out the legal crap later."

I smoked myself a cigarette
okay maybe five
I thought long and hard about the situation
trying hard not to cry
I didn't even know this man
yet everything about him drove me crazy
How on earth could I marry a man
who barely even knows me
I put out my fifth cigarette
let out a deep exhale
"Okay" I said finally "I will marry you"
He got up off the ground, helped me up and then we started to run
For the first time in my whole existence
it felt like my life had just begun

I was 23 when I got married
I had no idea what I was thinking when I said yes to that man
I am 87 years old now
and I am still in love with him
In our 60 years of marriage he has kept his promise to me
to always put me first
I never go to bed angry at him
and we spend every Saturday afternoon at St. George Skatepark
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: December. 19, 2015 Saturday 6:57 PM
 Dec 2015 Sean Hunt
Erin Atkinson
I'm thinking about hands again.
                                               I'm thinking about
            how yours are big
            and mine are small
and how yours fit
                                nicely
                     around my throat
mine claw at your back
and i gasp
                                                        …fu­ck me

And I'm thinking about your steadiness
                           and my shakes
        and about how we both create
                               universes
with just our hands
                 and our lips
                         and our teeth.

I'm thinking about how
          my hands would like to find yours
in the dark
              and rest in it's spaces
                             under your ocean
              of blankets,
    like an empty glass waiting
to be filled.
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