one time
in your best friend's basement
you told me that you never wanted to love anyone the
way you loved me
and I haven't heard a word
the same way
from anyone
since

You're great but...
Do you have a guy in your life?
That little voice in your mind is saying
Give in
Give in to the perpetual mindset of equating success to a prospective man in my life
But why?
Have you ever thought that the men in our lives are not the problem?
Stopped to think that maybe it's our fault that women constantly feel the pressure to enter relationships?
Solve my oh-so-sad single status?
No thank you, I think I'm good.

Have you ever been in so much pain that it hurts to breathe?
Is your pain so severe that you wouldn't wish it upon your worst enemy?
My pain is like this
It's one that does not stop for me
It throws tantrums like a child that doesn't get what they want
It speaks to me like a bully would
It ruins my confidence much like an ex boyfriend would
But yet here I persevere
On those nights that you can't think straight
Remember that you are not the only one
Remember that you have goals
Remember that you have a chosen path
Driving off the road will do you no good, no matter what the weather...

You make things sound so simple
Conversations, experiences, memories;
To you they may seem like fleeting thoughts of the past
Subconscious actions programmed into your being; but for me
For me they require effort
For me they require thought
For me they require commitment
Next time you want to play a game
Don't make me your pawn and life, your board

Moms tell us we should wait
          Wait for perfection for their perfect daughters
                  Daughters, who've set high expectations for low esteems
                           Esteems, that have been brought down through the worst of experiences
                                 Experiences, that we wait for, for years upon years

My question while falling down this rabbit hole of thought;
Should I wait or should I just make do?

In a battle of wills
The will nots prevail
For once I'd like to see
The will
            ...rising up from turmoil