Pained with a sadness I have never known
A dagger driving into the core of my soul
As I let go of everything
Yet a calmness washes over me
Something guiding me
Its not my own
I'm noticing things differently
The way the breeze dances softly with everything it touches
The scents that are heightened
The smell of rain before the storm
Clipped grass on a hot summers day
Perfume that lingers long after they've gone
I'm not in a daze
simple pleasures are filling me with more
I don't have to be ok
I'm not sure I ever will be the same again

I miss you
Not just in the physical sense
In every sense of the word

Your unique way of doing things, its like watching a symphony of noise
You're either in complete harmony with it
Or consistently fighting against it

Your laugh
Oh your laugh
It fills my whole body with warmth
A sound I crave to hear

The smell of the top of your head, comforts me
Like a mothers embrace, I know I am safe

Day to day living never felt less mundane
Always helping wherever we felt we could
Exploring, guiding each other
Always finding refuge in one another

Life is not the same without you
Never will be without you
The emptiness, at times consumes me
Swallowing me whole
The crator you've left within me
Can only be filled by you

I hope
I have to hope

Chest caught
Tight,
A pressure weighing
Nothing seemed this heavy before
Nothing was so precious before
My whole world has been flipped brought smack back intoo reality

Just breathe

A love so pure
So strong
So fierce
How can I muster the strength to wield such a strong and beautiful being

Just breathe

Your ailments become my own
Your achievements fill my my heart
Your presence brightens my darkest day
I am so blessed to have you in my life
I feel unworthy to call you my daughter

Just a breath could change everything.
To stop my chest growing so tight

To some,
This life is a maze,
To some just a path,
To others a confusing,
Distant memory.
Never be afraid of what's not yet set,
Before you start to age.
Some may dither,
Others they stumble,
But you remain graceful & strong.
My Granddad,
My hero.
Your wit must have seen you some trouble,
But your charm surely helped you out of a  few pickles.
That heart warming smile fills a room.
My Granddad,
My hero.
No one can ever compare to you.

My body is a temple, one I must uphold.
My body is a temple,
A temple with a few bricks askew?
The foundations no longer stable?
Moss and ivy growing up the sides, finding all the crevasses.

To look at, all but a natural beauty.
I'm weathered at such a ripe young age.
My body is a temple.
But this temple needs a grave.

I can't call the architect,
To tell them they ****** up.
All the sympathetic looks, or sideways glares.
No one truly understand the amount I learn,
from the way they look at me.

My body is a safety hazard.
No warning sign required.
Hips and arms clicking and cracking. Legs, back and neck no better

Ease me up gently and handle with care.
I'll bruise with the slightest pressure.
My temple may as well be completely collapsed right on top of me.

My temple has a leak causing the structure to rot.
I don't have the energy,
To fix myself again.
I don't have the energy.
I'm barely even still me.