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 Jan 2015 Sam Haidan
B
Her
 Jan 2015 Sam Haidan
B
Her
You told me you wanted me.
But you already had her.
You told me you needed me.
But it was obvious you needed her more.
You told me you wished I was there with you more than anything.
But she was already there.
You told me I meant the world to you.
But she was your whole world.
You told me you were in love with my eyes.
But you were lost in hers.
You told me you wanted to kiss me.
But her saliva was already on your tongue.
You told me you loved me.
But you were in love with her.


                                B.S.
You have softer hands than I,
An amusing touch.
And your voice reverberates in
my head like a bell.
I wait for every word,
already knowing whats to come.
You ghosts upon my shoulders,
I've never broken our grasp.
I've become addicted to pain. The kind that leaves you troubled, broken, and insane. 

I've become indifferent to shame. So cast out all your sins and let me shoulder all the blame. 

I've become distracted by flames. As I watched you burning out, I felt nothing- what a shame. 

I've become indifferent to rage. I've put the past behind me, I'm not bothered with why you didn't stay. 

I've become addicted to pain. Not the kind were skin breaks, but the one where the heart's ripped out its cage. 

No one said forever would ever be forever enough.
Is there anything as beautiful
As a piece of paper?
There it lies,
Waiting patiently,
For your pen to mark it,
For the very first time.
A metaphor?
A metaphor.
A great one,
For the way our lives all go.
We'll start each day,
Like a sheet of brand new paper.
The turn of the notebook page,
Signifying the dawn of a new day.
The start of a new notebook,
Being the start of a new chapter in our lives.
They come together to make a book,
Which we may title with our name.
And we're just one of many,
But still unique in our own way.
The paper shows how we start fresh,
Clean, if you may,
And sometimes there'll be a marks that
Are predetermined,
But we learn to live with them.
And in the end,
The paper can be both
A mess to some,
And beautiful to others.
But it's still
Our story,
And when our life ends,
When the last notebook is filled,
It will come to be all we have,
And all we've ever had.
Our story can go on,
Leading to great things,
Being reused to aid in someone else's,
Or perhaps forgotten all together.
But it's still there,
And it's still us,
And parts of it,
Surely,
Will be featured in another's story.
Because life is like a sheet of paper,
And we are both the pen,
And the sheet we write on.
Other people's pens will sometimes mark us,
And we will sometimes mark theirs.
But in the end,
Our blank paper
Will have become something,
Something more complex.
Something grand,
Something meek,
Something strong,
And something weak,
Something beautiful,
Something ugly,
Something painful,
Something happy,
Something true,
And something fiction,
Something old,
And something new.
Something.
Written 12-24-14
 Jan 2015 Sam Haidan
Ria Nagpal
a tiny fire engulfs my brain
my innate superpowers
lost across the synapses
away from the lethal electricity

"embrace me, embrace my beat"
my heart dawdles forth to my rescue
not my physical self
but my tiny wishes
it can't see my veins sob
bright red blood
bright red cheeks
                                                          Is that what it wants
its esoteric enigma is a heartfelt fantasy
"be practical, are you in your right mind?"
what's right, what's wrong
I'm aloof

brain is my roof
and my heart is my window
through which i will escape
stealing my mind and soul

mock me lampoon me
my footsteps will answer you
santa awaits my wishlist
                                              merry christmas.
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