I hate
When you skip across my mind
I seriously hate
 Wanting to talk to you, feeling like I can't
What burns me alive
 Is knowing I want you to want me
More than just yours
But make it official, give me your left hand
 ring finger
What I know though
In reality, you're no better for me
Than thy for thee
For such wrong souls
It feels so right
Heart flutters, to the idea of never letting go
Unfortunately, those dreams pop
Bubbles burst, seams busted
Filled with too much *******
Spewed all over my thoughts
Fighting this constant battle between loving or leaving
Limbo, limbo, limbo
Just give something I've never had
We'll think about it later.

I wish I could talk
To you it isn't easy
All things go amok
My stomach feels so queasy

I wish that I can chat
To you I'll be a speechless gnat
Every time I open my mouth
"NO!" my brain forever shouts

I wish I could be your everything
So that smiles on your face I bring
My chapped lips beckoning
My parched throat swallowing

For everything I wish
That we could be like this
I still fear and doubt
That with you...I'll be in a blackout

Numbers are real

Yet, untouchable.

The universe in my hand

Literally, unseeable.

My thoughts,

they’re real

But seemingly, unbelievable.

Your skin against mine,

Ha! improbable.

Longing for you,

The impossible.

I’m waiting for you,

That’s undeniable.

Your feelings?

That’s questionable.

Color Me Beautiful

The trees are an emerald green the most lovely color I've ever seen

The cardinals are an imperial red-they look like tiny apples on the snow is what my mothers often said

Everything in the world has its own color
-it's own hue

Even me
Even you

Give me the deep mahoganies of the earth
The golden yellows of the sun

Make me someone
Please God
Color me beautiful

love is not
a thing
that gives
choices,
it just arrives,
takes you
destroys you.

it has done
nothing but
make a fool
out of me.

knocking me over,
gripping my
cold wretched heart
without mercy.

making me
irrational,
fierce,
defensive,
determined.

unable to
break the spell,
paralyzed by
absolutely ludicrous
beliefs.

-

i deleted all
the music
off my phone
because
storage was
scarce.

but in the dark,
in the rain,
cruising,
comes
sad song playlist
all by itself,
unsummoned,
pushed from
the clouds
back into
my mind,

my chest,
where i feel a
sudden tightening,
a deep,
wrenching
pain.

so i sit
in the driveway
and let it finish,

let the sadness
roll right
into me,
and eyes closed,
tearless,
i dreamt of you.