I'm lost in the city
But I'm taking my time
The streets keep talking to me
They're asking how everyone can spend so much time looking down and straight ahead
When a whole world grows rapidly above them

Buildings grow into the stars
A new styled solar system
They dance among the clouds
Wisping fluffs of greys and whites
When I look, I know that I want to be where it all connects

I am gliding down hills
I am fumbling through crosswalks
I am slipping past street signs
because I can't keep my feet on the ground and my head from that new world

do you remember
sitting on the trampoline
deep into the night
hours unknown but the moon told us his story
used the stars as his main characters
and the sun as his lover

do you remember
counting blades of grass
watching the patch of dirt grow larger
as you pulled each peice of green seperate from the earth
but got sad when i yanked the dandelion from the ground
and tossed it into the driveway

do you remember
how cold the lake water was on my hands
and how the trees seemed to have more of a conversation than we did
although the park bench was fine in the moment
your friends couch was where i felt we should stay
and in the morning i couldnt remember the silence from before

do you remember
feeling like there was no end coming fast without reason
feeling like each day could be something new for us
feeling like you did on drunken nights laying on that small mattress

do you remember feeling

I miss last summer
And mattresses on the floor
And empty liquor bottles
And coming back for more.

I miss the beginning
How strange it might have seemed
That the adventures I now look back on
Now sit on my mind like fuzzy dreams.

Your car was way too hot for me
Most rides were windows down
Can’t forget falling asleep in your passenger seat
Whenever you drove around.

Each day was nothing different
Laying on that trampoline became routine
But that’s what I loved the most
Like in a movie, we played the scenes.

I miss last summer
And a room without a door
And a front porch covered in people
With the one that I adored.

I had a dream
I was in your bed
Painting pictures at 3 pm
We weren't together
But I was still there
Comfortable in the friendship we still have left
You came home
Started painting too
We finished up
Cleaned our brushes
And made plans to start picture two
Next weekend, then the next
I nice rotation
A series of paintings.

I keep replacing that night
That night that made my ribs ache most
Pounding chest and watered eyes as you told me
You could feel yourself fading from me
Panic crept into my throat and choked me up
You probably thought the only reason
I didn’t fight was because I was such a closed off person
But my words kept slamming against the back of my teeth
My tongue sliced the air so no sound could escape

You asked for a hug
But my hands were still tight under my thighs
Focused on not trembling as hard as they are as I write this now

I thought this was only something you felt when
The one you still love no longer loves you
Turns out I get to experience the same emotion
As I now force myself to find a love meant for you.