I keep replacing that night
That night that made my ribs ache most
Pounding chest and watered eyes as you told me
You could feel yourself fading from me
Panic crept into my throat and choked me up
You probably thought the only reason
I didn’t fight was because I was such a closed off person
But my words kept slamming against the back of my teeth
My tongue sliced the air so no sound could escape

You asked for a hug
But my hands were still tight under my thighs
Focused on not trembling as hard as they are as I write this now

I thought this was only something you felt when
The one you still love no longer loves you
Turns out I get to experience the same emotion
As I now force myself to find a love meant for you.