one. small spaces
two. immortality
three. becoming an alcoholic
four. admitting the truth
five. commitment
six. people
six. life repeating itself
six. people who promise that they won’t hurt you
six. having children, not because I'm scared of children, but because I know I'd be a failure of a mother
six. loving someone new
six. loving someone healthy for me
seven. waking up in the morning to the same thing, to the same routine, to same people who hurt me the first time.

There are things,
we write about
because
we don’t have the strength
to speak them.

Unpublished,
sitting in secret journals
or folders on phones,
harsh enough to bring
tears to every mans eye.

Times of attempts,
death, troubled loves,
childhoods too traumatic to share —
we see no resolutions.

I wonder,
if that’s why
occasionally a poets
most emotional works
are not found until
their death.