I've always believed I have been living with the weight of both of our worlds on my chest. I realize now, she's been carrying her burdens on her own for far too long.

One false step and she will be crushed by the sheer pressure.

Ground to dust and blown away.
Finally free from
me.

The rustic feel of
the electric oil lamp
is enticing. It gives this
shell of a home life.

The artifical light gives
this dark room meaning.
I want to do that for you.

I usually end up falling short.

"I promise it'll be better," I whisper.

She stares me down and says,
"we'll see".

Rain drops fall on
the window pane.
I am reminded of your tears.
I can't forget the way
they used to slide down your face.
Gliding down your lips
and tapering off on your chin.
As they drop I catch them
with my fingers.

I used to thank god for
your entire being
every day.
Now your tears are the only thing
I can remember.

with the taste of alcohol
still fresh on my tongue,
I lay in bed.

I wonder about you.
I think about the subtle
way your spine
arches to the side.

I think about your long legs
and heavy sighs as
I bury my head in my pillow.
I miss you so much tonight
I can hardly stand it.

I stay here and count the days
until I see you lay next to me again.

She doesn't know it,
but I never appreciated the sentence,
            
                    "I love you."

That is until it came from her lips.

That ****** bar fly.
That **** stained old man.
How could he capture
the essence of a human?

I read and read and read his words.
His thoughts.
And I have to ask,
"How can someone so flawed
be almost flawless?"

I spend my Sunday's praying that someday
I can have just an ounce of his insight.
Is it the countless drinks?
The years at the post office?
The failed relationships?
I would give my right eye to
have his talent.
But then...
Why would I want to be a dead, washed up, *******?

I've always admired her writing.
She sums up her thoughts
in no more than 9 lines.
She reminds me less is more.
She helps me to remember:
Life is short.

So why do I still ramble?