"i would die for you"
was always the utmost declaration of unconditional love.
what more could be wanted than one who
would sacrifice themselves so that you could live?
very few know that some things are worse
than death.

"i would die for you"
is not the the truest test of boundless love.
for some, it is not death that they fear most
some even wish for death to arrive on their doorstep,
to take them away from the hell of living
to the peaceful limbo of after-death.
for many, for someone else is not the only reason
that they would willingly give up their life.

"i would die for you"
means NOTHING to many.
and true love MEANS SOMETHING.
so for sadly too many,
"i would die for you"
is not enough.

after all,
for too many,
you do not truly love the face that drives you towards
the razor, the pill bottle, the frayed rope.
you truly love the face that
stops your shaking hand from
etching your pain permanently onto your skin
you truly love the face that you would
walk through your own personal hell for
you truly love the face that you would
*LIVE FOR.

i loved you like i loved mirrors.
a little fearfully, but curiously
and then all at once, seeing myself
reflected in your eyes and realizing
this is who i am.
and i loved it.
i loved you like i loved mirrors.

you broke me like i broke that mirror.
tentatively, not wanting bad luck
but needing to, needing to break away.
glass breaks beautifully, brokenly
but dangerously.
i watched as the fist crushed into the mirror
into my heart
and knew that i while i was the reflector,
you did not feel this pain.
you broke me like i broke that mirror.

i am afraid of you.
i am sorry. but i am.
i am like a dog that way. you hurt me once
i never forget.
i stay wary. even if it was unintentional
i will never love the same.
i will love beautifully, brokenly
i will never love the same.

if you fall in love, remember that you are falling
and that the fall will not last forever.
you can just as easily fall out of love,
or wake up to someone who is no longer falling.

some people trip into love
accidentally stumbling into something bigger
than they expected and while the jolt was momentarily
unpleasant, they don't mind the fall.

there are a few who will count with you
but will not jump with you, no matter what they say
because they are too afraid and leave you
to fall on your own, to hit the ground already broken.

a select few hit the ground running
flipping mid-air, somersaulting
preparing themselves for the land and launching
themselves into the air once again, unafraid. daredevils.

there are those who look before they leap
to measure, calculate, check and double check
and leap once they feel safe and ready.
they are the ones who so rarely fall, but do so with all faith.

and then there are the ones who already fell
and went and hurt themselves
and will still leap into the abyss, free and bound
knowing that they will land paralyzed and will re-learn how to love.

if you fall in love, remember that you are falling
and that the fall will not last forever.
but also remember to enjoy the fall,
because like free falling, love is dangerous

but beautiful.

though you think
that your heart has scars
that your wrists need to match
don’t you see
you are so much
worth so much to me?

humanity's existence is finite, terminal.
which is also a
destination in an airport,
to which we are all
running, running.

to call us lovebirds, dating, etc.
to our faces, like just another mask we wear
ain't quite right, like the lack of function in broken hearts;

we're in love (if what i think about is mutual)
but we'd never take the extra step
unlike our own shy and socially awkward flaws.