It is purest before the scratch,
A stain on white,
Like roots it grows beneath,
Not seen but  there till the
Point its pollen Comes forth,
And with each shard
Shattering on the purity, 
Till like ash crushed to black.

What astounding ego
To think I can express
what actually is

Perceive a day

To cut out a small piece
still alive and bleeding
and put it on a page

like some sort of trophy

"Look, see what I did"
what figures to be important
to certain eyes

unobserved, ignorant

some waves take a million years
to crash upon the beach
and flow back out to sea

Trapped inside my body
prisoner of my mind
tired of relying on healing
on someone else's time
Truth is I can't breathe without love
So I will hold my breath
and the next time someone looks for me
I'll just play dead
but if they're wise they'll see me
see that light underneath my skin
they'll love themselves to my door
force me to let them in
I'll already be packed up
and prepared for whatever
when they decide to leave
we'll vacate this place together
thats why I never hang a picture
never set the time on my clocks
the arrival is all I want to remember
when time stops
I want out of this place
of pain, disappointment and hurt
I know my home is no longer here on this earth
Orphan to reality
foster child of its thoughts
doing never what I'm told
refusing to learn what I've been taught
I will keep to the course
Remain a spirit thats free
For I am, from the Great I am
& all I can be is me

are you still there?
underneath all that anger?
do you still care?

or is my dead heart reading
too much into your words again
do i still have a part

of your heart that still beats?
or is your heart as dead as mine?
do you still burn for me?

or am I just a faded memory?
I miss you daily, the you I knew
when you didn't hide from me

are you still fire or are you now ash?
should I mourn or rejoice
at you coming back...