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 Sep 2014 rockywhoreor
Fake Knees
One.*
One toothbrush.
One dollar.
Only one of my shoes.
Two.
Two ravens above my head.
Two black clouds in the sky.
Too much hate behind my eyes.
Three.
Three days on a beach.
Three tries to be with you.
Three times out of reach.
Four.
Four shots in the dark.
Fourth time punching myself in the gut.
124th black and blue mark.
 Sep 2014 rockywhoreor
Fake Knees
The leaves are changing their colors like I am changing my name.
No longer thriving, bright, and sturdy on my branch; I am now dark and desolate on the ground.
Making one with perished grass and the worms because it feels like "us" outside and I just don't have the energy to grow anymore.
Renaming myself "Autumn" because I am nothing but dried up leaves on your bedroom floor.
 Sep 2014 rockywhoreor
Jack
My poetry *****



I’m so tired of writing

My fingers are sore

My poetry *****

I’m becoming a bore



Sticking a verse

In front of your face

Oozing with love

All over the place



Creamsicle colors

Metaphors thick

Wasting your time

Making you sick



Finding a title

Spending the time

Just like this poem

Something to rhyme



Or it could be free-verse…

Drifting on metallic clouds in copper spoons

dreaming in patterns of silhouette shadows

and my foot falls asleep



Maybe a Senryu



Read at your own risk

Dumb crap being written here

***** bags needed



Perhaps a Haiku



Softly floats the bird

Atop morning glory skies

**** thing **** on me



Or a Tanka, a Sonnet

A Villanelle or an Assterring

The last one is nothing

I made up the **** thing



So you see I’m no poet

Least not anymore

For what you are seeing

Is what you abhor



And I’m not complaining

Not here on this screen

My pen is on empty

I’m ready to leave



I’m so tired of writing

My fingers are sore

My poetry *****

I’m becoming a bore
Today i had a terrible day
So bad that I don't know what to say
I won't let her see the tears in my eyes
As we're saying every single goodbye
I know its fast but I truly care
And for her I'll always be there
Whether in a way as best friends forever
Or as lovers sharing passion together.
But what makes love
What makes these feelings shove
Shove their way into our hearts
Hearts that bleed and yearn displayed as arts
Arts for all to study and askew
Askew that which they mean and their views
Views are all that we require
Require morality to light the fire
Fire inside of each of our hearts
Hearts with burning passionate parts
Parts that push and pull our blood
Blood that makes these feelings flood
Floods that bring love in our lives
Life filled springs cut short by knives
Knives that slice right through our flesh
Making us feel like just mere mesh
Mesh with the world and discover love
Love that conquers all of the above
 Sep 2014 rockywhoreor
Renmar
I tell him to go deep.
Deep into my soul

I tell him to go harder.
To break down my walls

I tell him to go faster.
I needed our ******

All that's said and done.
I lay here legs shaking & out of breath.
Exhausted
Now I'm alone.
He did all that work.
Built me up.
*Just to leave me to pick up my pieces
 Sep 2014 rockywhoreor
Fake Knees
Unfailingly unsure and uneasy at the thought of a God but I begged the sky for direction last night.
Bawling on the shoulder of the Big Dipper like it's my long lost mother,
biding my time for an answer and scrutinizing for a sign,
I still can hear nothing in return.
I'm prying open it's mouth to hear it say that I am not bad and I am not slipping away
but she is silent and
I can feel that I am.
Looking down towards the ground I cannot help but think that
this is the fate that my stars have left me;
between home and where I live.
SO I SURRENDER.
I'm giving up the bottle before the bottle gives up on me.
Wanting something more than the intoxicated chemical romances and I've grown sick and tired of chewing people up and spitting them back out.
Wanting something more for my own sake because I don't want to be a good for nothing any further and I've grown sick and tired of killing myself just like you've killed me in your brain.
Unfailingly unsure and uneasy at the thought of "Me" but I begged the sky for direction last night.
 Sep 2014 rockywhoreor
ab
I am from plaid couches and plastic covers
       that squeak and rip.
I am from ***** pool tiles and loud pool cleaners
       humming, humming.
I am from the back street littered with fallen leaves
       and cracked tar.

I’m from “the Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.”
I’m from “and also with you,” rattling around large stained glass,
        like coins in a jar.
  (loud rattling, coughing,
       crying children, flipping pages)

I’m from long car rides with music blasting,
       windows rolled down.
I’m from Tool, Wings, Metallica.
I’m from the Beatles, Foo Fighters,
       and that “obscure” Indie band
       that Walks the Moon.

I’m from sitting with my Dad,
       whistling the X-Files theme song
       the title sequence plays
I’m from totally shipping Mulder and Scully
       before it was cool.
       (actually it still isn’t cool)
I’m from “that’s my girl”, and “you’re my favorite”.

I’m from Joan and Beedee and tall,
       bright flowers
       and trees from a magic green thumb.
I’m from “Good Old Texas”
       and large Texan stars,
       and tall cowboy boots.

I’m from a ***** canvas, covered in thick paint
       it hangs so somberly.
As if as old as my great grandmother
      who placed it on the wall.
I’m from a family spl it in two.

I’m still from that large house down the street.
I’m still from that small apartment,
       with the map on the wall.
Bright red pins stuck in that wall,
       on cities with names I've memorized.

My family tree expands,
       a large oak with strong roots,
       and weak branches.
I am from a tree with two branches to fill.
It does not end with me.

I am from the cities far away from here,
       Art filled cities that my children will see.
I am from the murals
       written and drawn across the town.
These cities will be our newer,
       stronger branch upon the family tree.
i didn't really follow the format but
 Aug 2014 rockywhoreor
ab
everyone wants something and everyone doesn't want to be alone. to be lonely. that ***** man with sad eyes sitting on the sidewalk, alone and in the rain. passing, passing, passing. passing time, passing people, passing lives. or maybe you're in your home, 500 floors up. still alone, but in luxury. that isolated woman with lonely eyes and red lips and faux fur and classy cigarettes. parent's never paid much attention. both live alone, wanting a crossing of paths with someone, anyone. different spectrum of societies, suicide to be seen together. it was raining, the young woman being into the alley by men. they wanted her money. greedy, greedy, greedy. she was the youngest of the family, her family living in more extravagant places than she. she'd never be missed until the money ran out. she would die, she knew she would, shivering in the rain as they ripped off her expensive coat, pulling her hair. somehow she felt okay, at least if they killed her she wouldn't be alone. there was only darkness between her and her death, streaks of lightning lighting the terror on her smudged face. the ***** man sitting along the wall could see the woman in the white coat, not even fighting for her life. he didn't understand that, almost angered. she had money, had everything. he had nothing, even less as he got up and splashed his way through the dark to grab one of the men by the throat. he was choking, coughing as he kicked him down and his partner ran off. they hadn't expected to be challenged. the woman was pleading, her coat in a puddle. she was taking off her jewelry, shoving it into the man's hand. he shook his head, seeing the loneliness in the eyes of the woman, her dark hair wet and frizzy. she didn't seem to understand as he merely placed her jewelry in her coat and wrapped it back around her shoulders, despite it being cold and wet. they were both already cold and wet. she was frazzled, perplexed, and finally she hugged the man, sobbing in tune with the rain. they went separate ways, the woman getting to her lonely warm penthouse and stripping out of her wet clothes. they lay all over the floor along and the she laid naked on the rug. she didn't want to move, shakily opening her cigarettes as she rolled on her back. the next afternoon she was back outside, tired and silent as she wandered back into the alley. she felt empty, staring at the place where she could have met her end. she ripped off her rings and her pearls, hitting the muddy puddles along the wall. and then she heard a voice along the wall, telling her it wasn't really wise to throw away expensive things. it was the same man, standing there in the same wet clothing and sad eyes. sad eyes and lonely eyes. she said it didn't matter if you were alone, and he said he was alone and it mattered since he had nothing. the woman with lonely eyes asked the man with sad eyes if he had something: a home, a wife, children, and he answered no each time. she took his hand, walking him to the end of the alley, saying he could choose to have something. he said he did want something, but didn't know what something even looked like. she said it was okay and they walked together into the elevator to the 500th floor where he found her clothes across the floor, glass shattered in the kitchen. it was a start of something, and he didn't care if it was ugly at first and lonely eyes became a little less lonely and sad eyes became a little less sad. the something he was looking for was in her and the life of not being lonely she was looking for was in him.
she’s got the Oxycontin blues and an appetite for Ritalin
a body made for fixation
Wellbutrin XL 300 MG to cope with hallucinatory voices
little lonely, melancholy mollie keeps her gloominess away through raw physical exertion
Prozac to highlight her manic side
she lacks emotional stability
****** to walk her off the end
2 ***** bottles and some ******
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