Sugar free
take a sip of me
for the last week
is the last week
I’ve decided to care
about you or me
or anything we perceive
that’s right, it’s over
It’s All Over
or is soon set to be
as far as you’re concerned—
I’m not. I’ve concluded
we’re all damaged goods
we’re all in over our heads
we’re all unrealistic dreamers
we’re all toxic fumes, killing ourselves
slowly and everyone else with every breath
Balance is necessary but in which department
I forget—-thus is the reason I am still who I was
and cannot proceed to find this “love”

Waking up is hard.
It doesn’t get easier
with nothing to do.

While the snake feeds, the
girl blinks and breathes, seemingly
transfixed by the death.

My heart aches from your words
Don’t make assumptions of me
when you don’t know who I am,
only what I reflect of you
We’re moving too fast
Emotionally I’m unstable
Mentally unable to understand
why I feel such grief at the
idea of happiness within
my reach? Because on the
other side there is terror
of unknown waters, and I
will definitely sink instead
of swim because my legs are
tired of kicking back the demons
of uncertainty; drowning in
my own ocean of sobs,
all because I’m sensitive to
the pain of others, and I want
to hurt none or leave anyone
to ache as I do; so I hoard all
of me and what I give to you—
serenity dissolving to apologies
when I owe nobody but me.

Sometimes I wish
my over-thinking would
short circuit my brain and
leave me brain-dead.

Sometimes in mirrors
I rehearse conversations
I will never have.

Sometimes I think you
are passively avoiding me
or actively ignoring me.

Sometimes I want
to be so turned on
that I never turn off.

Sometimes I can’t sing
from my soul because
it’s buried beneath my heart.

Sometimes I just listen
to the nothingness
and the noise, but I’m
lost in the silence

Even on bright days,
rain can still persist, pouring
like tears down windows