Through the plate-glass window
Of the Fire Bowl Cafe
I see three women in royal-blue scrubs
Triangulated on the parking lot

One holds a *** of yellow flowers
Thankful
Appreciated
Smiling like I haven't seen anyone smile all day that day
(Not even in the movie I just saw)

They distriangulate
And I watch the appreciated one
Put her *** of flowers on the asphalt next to her SUV
I wait for her to open the back door and put them in
But she doesn't
She just drives away

And leaves them there
Yellow and blue
Becoming yellow and black
As I wait for her to return
As I wait for a stranger to stop and steal them
Finally I get up
And leave

I grew up with the silly idea
That boys would write poetry
For the girl in the back of the coffeeshop.

It’s far from romantic
The countless times I’ve walked that road,
Entered that C- bakery,
And rested my elbows on a wobbly table.
Once, I twisted my ankle,
Caked my jeans in mud and embarrassment.
Another time, I fell in a puddle.
Nobody helped me up or dried me off.
Hundreds of dollars wasted on cheap coffee
That only kept me up long enough
To realise how low I was.

I wrote poems for boys in the coffeeshop,
Adam and all the rest.
They didn’t write any for me.

Feed the broken monster
with the strangled mind
Replace the rusted screws
and tighten from behind

**** the broken monster
deep inside of me
Twisted rotten moment
no longer can I see

Your hands were always cold,
even when you were mad–
even when they were
entwined in my oafish hands.
Oh, and how you would get mad!
I remember how those thin, delicate fingers
would tense up,
long and slender as they were,
and you would press the nail
of your index finger into the
side of your thumb.
You didn’t even notice you would do it.
It got to a point that we fought so often
you had cuts from your own nails.
The most beautiful fingers,
graceful and untouched,
except for those little stress-cuts
dug into the side of the thumbs.
And always cold,
even when you were mad–
even when they were
entwined in my oafish hands.

I am sorry we fought.
I always thought
if I could just keep those hands
warm a little longer,
we would make it through alright.
The fighting and the winters
and the coldness of it all
proved a little too much.
For that, I am sorry.
I hope you found yourself a
warmer hand to hold.

«You always write the weirdest things»,
she says with a java jive smile.
The sun burns red among the living.

I lay down with my thoughts,
what a marvelous sight:
you and the river.

I guess you are unique
in a world of colors,
so paint at your will.

And if my colors should fail
and jeopardize the painting,
I'll know what to do.

I'll **** every morning,
waste every sun.

I'd rather stay on the shore
and watch you happen
than to live with half a smile.

Open for breakfast and lunch,
It closes every day at two
Perfect for the working folk
In this factory-life milieu.
So, every day, I made sure
To be right there on my stool.
Those people could cook eggs.
I know how to shop, I’m no fool.

Now, let me assure you all before
You knock them down a few pegs,
Not every eatery in the world
Knows how to cook decent eggs.
But that rangy old cook did
And the hash browns were great.
This place knew what to do
And performed it all at first rate.

There was deliciously brewed coffee
And wonderful Danish to be had
And like everything I ate there
Nobody could call anything bad.
They did a cinnamon roll, with butter
And they warmed it on the hot grill
And, while I am not easy about food
That gave me an oralgasmic thrill.

And the people were just people
Nobody there had a bad attitude;
They greeted people like family
And showed their great gratitude.
They told us they were glad
We didn’t rely on the coffee truck.
I can say it better right up front.
Their success was not due to luck.

Enemy training, one, two three
Is notable for its simplicity.
You just arm yourself thoroughly
And shoot people with alacrity.
Don’t worry about being wrong
Or whether an action is right.
That they don’t want you to shoot
Is enough to start the fight.

Please take this as truth
That this is how it is done
If you see someone as enemy
You cease to see a human.
The fact that they are armed
And don’t like who you like
Is enough to create words like
****, ****, ****** and ****.

Enemy training, one, two three
Is notable for its simplicity.
You just arm yourself thoroughly
And shoot people with alacrity.

Line up the opposition forces
Against a bullet-riddled wall
And shoot them many times
And see how many will fall.
The ones who do not die
Must be minions of the devil.
They are the enemy, you see.
That’s all. That’s on the level.

Don’t worry about being wrong
Or whether an action is right.
That they don’t want you to shoot
Is enough to start the fight.

And those people that don’t
Believe in your own form of Jesus,
Like Aerabbs and Jews and such,
Shoot them as much as it pleases.
Because they won’t go to heaven,
And are just heathens anyway
Like them Buddhist dingdongs
Like them ****** lesbians and gays.

Enemy training, one, two three
Is notable for its simplicity.
You just arm yourself thoroughly
And shoot people with alacrity.

And people in foreign countries
Well, you can guess how that goes;
Take a look and easily compare
Canadanians to them from Mexico.
The French are Frogs, Spanish spics.
None as good as us Americans.
And nothing good can come out
Of any **** place that is African.

Don’t worry about being wrong
Or whether an action is right.
That they don’t want you to shoot
Is enough to start the fight.

Now if you find some of this offensive
And if this is revving up your motors,
Just bear in mind, this is what goes on
In the mind of the average voter.
Want to change this, make life better?
Drop your representatives a letter.
Tell them you are on to their villainy
And see them as supporting the REAL enemy.

Though I face the yelling loud,
I'd like to make my daddy proud.
A's, B's, and one C,
Never will it be a victory.
No I can't be like my big sis,
Tests 99%, only one miss.
I try so hard,
With a good report card.
Still can't give you a smile.

Even when I twirl,
I'm not daddy's little girl.
I stand on my toes,
To be right under your nose.
You look past me,
And yet I'm still not free.
I'm doing pliés at the barré,
While you're at the bar.
Why can't I make you proud?

Oh how I wish I was your son,
So I wouldn't want to be undone.
We'd play catch and drink a beer,
Then I wouldn't have this fear.
Of disappointing you again,
Feeling all that pain.
I can't keep doing this to myself.

Instead you shut me out,
I have many reasons to pout.
I haven't seen you in a year,
I shed a tear.
I miss you,
Even if you don't miss me too.
It's time to find someone who loves me.