You sit beside me on the train,
Your hand reaches for mine as I feel your soft touch against my pale rough skin,
I look into your mesmerizing eyes and tell you that you are beautiful,
You chuckle as your cheeks glow bright pink,
People stare at me,
But no one seems to notice you,

I hold your hand as we stroll through the park,
Your innocent smile sending me into a daze of emotions,
Lighting a fire in my heart that burns full of passion and love,
The warm touch of your skin against mine,
And yet,
I still feel the cool summer's breeze blowing against my fingers,

After dinner we wander aimlessly enjoying each others presence,
Joke after joke,
Laugh after laugh,
We soon find ourselves at the front of my door,
I love you I say as I move closer towards you,
Your tender lips touch mine,
But I don't feel anything,

I wake up to you gazing into my eyes,
Your silky brown hair flowing elegantly with the calm breeze,
I look deep into your eyes,
Entrapped in a everlasting trance,
A tear rolls down my cheek,
The alarm clock buzzes,
The tune ringing in my ears until finally snapping me out of it,

After getting dressed into my black suit,
I slowly trudge towards the door,
The sunlight shines onto my skin,
But not warming it,
Only making it colder,
I enter the car to find a picture of you and I at our wedding,

As I start up the car engine,
Tears uncontrollably escape my eyes,
I reverse the car out of the driveway,

With my soul filled with darkness,
My heart full of sadness,
My body aching of pain,

I drive off to

**Your Funeral

Sometimes,
Sometimes I can't sleep as horrors unforgotten slip their way through the thin veneer I have strung across a dark corner of my mind to hide these thoughts from the light of day.
On these nights,
On these nights I smoke a cigarette in shadows unbroken by the dim city lights and listen to a lonely cricket chirp and know at least we stand together in this midnight rendezvous.
In that I find peace.
Sometimes,
Sometimes I find myself unwilling to rise from my cold bed and face another strife filled day in a world full of challenge and misery that I was not asked but forced into.
Sometimes,
Sometimes I find my mind consumed by fear and hatred and anxiety inspired by a lifetime of bad decisions and worse luck in a seemingly never ending spiral of **** ups and shame.
But other times,
other times I find the smallest moments of bliss can rekindle the spirit and remember that goodness put forth will return if in nothing more than clear conscience and a light heart.
In the little things, I find peace.

He was my backbone
I was his rock
We needed each other
Like the sun needs the moon
We were Apollo and Artemis
Absolute opposites but that's what made us so great

He was tall
Blonde haired
Blue eyed
And fair skinned
I was short
Brown haired
Brown eyed
And tan

He was happy and open
While I kept to myself
He was strong and bold
While I was shy and conservative

He saw that I was fragile
And I saw that he needed tenderness
He taught me to be strong
And I taught him to be kind

I tamed him
While he made me wild
I managed to cage the beast
As he opened the door to a world I didn't know about

The longer we were together the crazier things got
Soon there was no holding us back
We fed off each other
We were fire and gasoline