So much I've wrote
So little I assume
I still try to learn
To love me in paper
So much I am inside
But out
Nothing is coming
I've lost me sounds
To language
I've lost me form
In trying to be
But I am only human
Too heavy
Too human
I make no sense
In my own self

Dust of the earth rise
Stagnant you have lain
Steps awaken you
Not before your time
Earth is spinning as before
Days are meant for her
Us not so much
We are beneath all, beneath sky
Beneath what heaven would ask of us
Not beneath torment
That wanderer has not made her bed
We sleep in comfort we do not own
Fools live this way
We are fools
There is no remorse for us
Would knowledge of an ending change a beginning
God thought as much when he made the earth
Seven days, the end of all things
The in between is for us
We waste it more foolishly than he thought
It is wasted just the same
No matter how big the hands that hold us
We cling to fingers in hope we do not fall

I am lost in the world
And I can not be found
I see nothing but darkness
As I look around
Just a vast empty space
That forever I'm bound
I will scream my lungs raw
But I don't make a sound

Then my head starts to spin
And I fall to the ground
Angrily my fists clench
With a fury they pound
I'm defeated again
Turned back into the clown
Not the type who is happy
No, I wear a frown

Always in my own way
Feels like life's upside down
Forget linear path
This full circle is round
Try to rise up for air
Lake of shame I will drown
If to win you should fail
I'm anointed and crowned

THIS is the epitome
this is the empty me
I revisit the cavern
to see the small
scrapings, pigments
pulled from my flesh
the child version of all
that was eating me
wheat colored stone
the chaff and the grain
rock against rock
the color of pain
the greedy green
chlorophyll, the part
and smart of my brain
YOU there and I point
a finger like a paintbrush
of despair, yellowed by
the sun and turned to
soup by the falling rain
WHAT sort of thing
could lift me out of this
forever wanting?
a red leveled plow
of your heart digs
at my veins
He is forever
mister dead set
blues for my
pain