There's this part of me, that's always been a bit more hopeful than the rest. With my dreams under my sleeve and the stars on my eyes.
But dawn comes and you walk out on me, and I still wait every night for you. And that's me, same old me, that acts strong against adversity.
With my chin held up high and my finger painted on the sky when the lights are on.
Same old me, that remains a child at heart with my high hopes and delusions.
Same old me that's still afraid of the dark

and i've called you drunk and i've called you sober
with my heart on my mouth and that awful ache on the chest
and so unlike you
no shots or ten, I still mean everything i say

I stare at the cieling and my mom knocks on the door every hour, scared that I might stop breathing.
I do not paint and I do not write, everything is dulled by the blue upon me and I feel sad and angry, but at the same time I do not feel at all.
Days are long, and nights even longer-and endless reminder of your midnight eyes and for the first time in forever, I find myself hating on the stars.
I do miss you, I miss you with everything I've got left and every fiber of my body keeps calling out your name.

But I miss myself more

There's an unspoken truth lingering over us, and I've long come to terms with the universe.
We aren't and we will not be what we were once, and it both kills me and sets me free

Dripping blood and splinted knuckles
And those midnight eyes I love so much
And your mom might not care at all
But I do
I always do
And I'm tiered of tasting copper on your lips

At some point you'll rember me as the girl that laughed between kisses -the girl who had never kissed anyone but you- and though I know how pathetic that sounds, I do want your hands to clentch and your lips to freeze and your ******* heart to ache like mine ever did.