You want an idea of this life I live
Of these tears I cry
Of these lies I hear

You want an idea of my open wounds
And how I got them
How they will never go away
Day after day
Months after May

You want an idea of all the things I beg for
Of the things I would die for

No idea will ever be as clear as the
Cigarettes I smoke
As the water when I wash my hair
As the leaves as winter is near

You want an idea of how my heart is shaped
How it hurts like darts
How it hides when someone unfamiliar is near

Do you still want an idea of the words In my head
Or the thoughts I left laying in my bed

The idea that you know me from the ideas in your head
Will never amount to the ideas I have left unsaid

I'll never forget you.
Or the things your energy
could make me do

But I don't want to remember,
November or
December

You were perfect,
Perfect for me  
Perfect for my Pisces personality

The one that got away
I will always feel like that,
Even up to this day

Fantasies of you and I
All left in the sky
Next to the star
That fades a little when I cry

Can't stop thinking about you
Won't stop thinking about you
Because I remember,
You and I equals the perfect two.

Too good to be true.
Too real to deal with the clues
Come back because
I simply wasn't though.

Today I'm writing something new.
Something true.
Today I'm writing something new,
Because of you.

I'm in love.
My heart and your heart,
Fits perfect like a glove.

For the first time I feel alive.
For the first time someone loves all of me.
So today I'm writing something new.
I'm choosing to write about you.

You're perfect,
Perfect for me.
You make me believe in all things,
That could ever be.

I can't sleep anymore,
Because you make staying awake
Better than anything I could ever dream of.

So today I'm writing something new.
I'm writing about my love for you.

Years have passed
And I thought I still loved you.
Maybe I do.
But years have passed
And I met someone new.
She's nothing like you.

She makes me smile
She makes me laugh
Everything about her caught me by surprise.
Her hair is long,
And silky like her bedroom sheets.

Years have passed
But I'm still stuck in the past.
But years have passed
And now the future has arrived.
I could never compare the two,
Even if I wanted to.

Why am I here reminiscing about the past,
When my future is beautiful?
Why am I letting my life pass me by?

I can't lose you.
Not to her.
My heart is tangled,
And ripped in half.
But is it really?

Years have passed.
That's a statement.
You're my past,
And that's a fact.
She's my future,
And that's my new truth.

So why am I here,
Writing about the two,
Side by side in the same paragraph?
If I do the math,
It doesn't add up.
But years have passed
And I'm still ****** up.

Years have passed,
And I must be wise.
I can't continue to live in lies.
For Heaven sakes,
the past has passed.

Years have passed,
And I chose you.

My future.

My darkest memories are starting to fade.
But only to gray, as they still remain.

to the one who broke my heart
I should have known
I gave in to you're pathetic lies
now my life has fallen apart.

I hope you're happy with your life
good luck, you're going to need it
I'm ashamed of what you've become
and embarrassed to have ever called you mine

dear self, what's happened to you?
you used to be so strong.
the wear and tear of others words
you now believe to be true.

you'll be okay, I promise.
you can do hard things
day after day it will get easier
just don't look back, regret, or miss.

to the one who gave me life
and to the one who sorta helped
thank you for everything you've done
all alone I could not handle my strife

dear crush...
I'm sorry that you don't exist.
it's a real pity
the idea of you is exciting, but I won't rush.

to the place that's suppose to teach
when will I learn how to live?
I'm unsure of my life
lifting me higher to the goals I may reach.

dear brother, dear sister
I know I am stuck with you
but for what it is worth
I love you for who you are and what you were

to me long ago
don't worry about now
we are doing alright
things do get better, I know

dear first love
when I was blinded, it was beautiful
my eyes eventually opened
you weren't there when my days were tough

I burned all your gifts
deleted all your pictures
but mountains of memories remain
and I'm falling off the cliff

there's not enough words to say
just know one thing
I loved you with my whole heart
and I felt nothing but betrayed

to the new me years from now
I hope you're still doing okay
please tell me that you've healed
maybe danced away the pain somehow

dear friend, my dearest friend
I wish you were not so far away
I love you with my entire being
no matter what may are friendship never end

you have been with me through hell
and helped me stand up again
forever have my heart and soul
you my friend, who knows me so well

to my child who is years away
you make a perfect addition
to our imperfect little family
we have not yet met but I love you anyway

dear person I hate
sorry we don't get along
unsure of who you are
but I guess now it's too late

to the one who has my heart
thank you for being in my life
I wish I could know who you are
and I wish we didn't have to be apart

dear friend who use to be
I'm sorry for everything I did
I wish it hadn't happened
but I hope you will please forgive me

to the people who don't like me
I'm sorry you feel that way
I will not change to please you
because you hate me for things I may not see

dear boyfriend of mine
so sorry you aren't real
maybe I will meet you soon
but while I wait, I'll be fine.

to everyone who has existed in my lifetime
thanks for doing your part
you've shaped my entire being
and made my life sublime

I do not have a ****** heart..
It's been ****** with,
And torn apart..
My heart is a *******,
Getting payed with love-filled lies.
My ****** body isn't yet caught up.
I gave all that was inside of me,
Trying to protect what I was born with,
My cleanliness, my virginity,
My purity..
My ****** body is white, pure, clean.
But my heart is black, broken, dead..
Waiting to be revived.
So please, revive my heart..
But don't take my body..