I miss him so much
I feel it in my bones
as they bend and break

Like a bullet
ripping through my skin
I felt the emptiness
make my body its home

I spent 4 months
trying to throw up the remains of you
left inside of me
My hands cold
trembling with the weight of memories
My eyes weary
spilling my final regrets

You brought me roses
but forgot to remove the thorns
and I didn't realize until now
that it was a foreshadow of
this

I want to hike up a mountain
and shout til my lungs hurt
yell out all the pain that
cripples my heart
so I’m reminded that
hearts aren’t made whole
just to be broken

I want to swim to the ocean
dive to the depths of it
till I’m surrounded in blue darkness
and look up to see the light
swiveling through the currents
only so I can feel what it’s like
to want to breathe again

I want to jump off a building
and feel the wind washing my face
and drying the tears that stream down it
just to know that there is still something
that would care enough to wipe away
the physical demonstration
of pain