1970
He sat next to me in Junior school
when I was just a little girl.
Always so sweet to me
I really liked him…
well ….
no much more than that.

1974
At middle school
he carried my books
home from school.
we became best friend's.

1979
At high school
I gave him my pin
he gave me
his friendship ring.
he was my date
for the prom.

1983
we both went away
to college together.
I was lonely and slipped
into his bed he held me safe.
we broke the chains of friendship.
And he became my lover.
my one and only lover.

1988
We married young.
Our  parents were
not surprised.
They were expecting it.

1994
we have three kids now
two girls and a boy.
Our son looks just like him.
when we first met
so long ago.

September 10 2001
He came home from work
just like any other day.
Put burgers on the barbeque.
We got the kids to bed
had a glass of wine.
And went to bed at Ten.
He wanted me
but I was exhausted
the kids had been terrors all day.

September 11 2001

he left early for work
with a cheek kiss
and a see you later Honey.
The kids went to school
I poured a coffee
the phone rang it was my
best friend.
Have you seen the news
she said.?
I put on the TV.
the towers fell to ashes
as did my life at that moment.
No tears came
All I could think was
I wish
I had made love to him last night.

September 11 2015
The kids are all grown now.
he would be so proud of them.
Our son looks just like him.
We all stand
at ground zero
and say a prayer.
I whisper
it was you honey
always you.
He answered me.
At that moment
a huge arc of a rainbow
circled the sky over NewYork.
And I know for sure.
It was for me.

loving this **** ghost
who will never be alive
like drinking poison

only your essence
to haunt me every day
never the true thing

I want to feel warmth
not the absence of real love
paranormal dreams

Risen after turmoil
Grinding her teeth
Conquering defeat;
She's whole

Our future starts now,
have we forgotten somehow?
The pain that we endure
somehow makes us impure.
To live and let go, to love and learn...
To accept one another; expect the same in return.
To reach out to someone hurting and to try and understand, this helps us grow... After all, wasn't that the plan? Why else are we here, why else are we breathing? It's only just begun and soon we'll all be leaving.
To leave something behind that is worth your life or mine would show that we have made it, we rest with the divine.
The planets all in balance,
The souls points all aligned,
That's when the peace comes
That's when we can unwind.
We dream and we discuss a way of living that we must, but if there is no action then why all of the fuss? We have to put it out there, to live and love our best the way that we know how and spread it to the rest.
On earth there is a sadness and men with cruel intention, many of you notice what I shouldn't have to mention. At this juncture  we are falling apart, forgetting our talents, neglecting our art.
We feel the end approaching, pain envelopes all... We reach out to our brothers when we are feeling small. If you feel alone, you have to figure out- who are the people that are filling you with doubt? If it is inside of you, you have to cast it out and if it is surrounding you, find another route. Our future starts today, have we forgotten somehow? Don't let it be in vain, make a change now. ~ ©KD

My past lies
  like a deep
    still lake,
a record of
all my mistakes
swimming
  within its soul
& I want to burn
them all, but
   how do you
take a flame to
water?
it just stays,
    forms ripples,
sometimes small,
    sometimes
biblical, all I can
   do is wait for
drought, for
  clouds to move
& sun to come
    out; the day
I will wake
   & not see a lake
but a clean slate

I'm too tired and too weak
From carrying all these worries
About things that may go wrong
Or things that never happened at all
I only have the will to take steady steps
Because my conquered failures hold me up

I'm too tired and too weak
I've lost my will to even breathe
Due to all the useless talking I do
And the inhaling of nothing I retain
I only now have the will to exhale
All the sweet moans I've swallowed whole

I'm too tired and too weak
To find the will to live the mundane
And excite flames from ashes as before
Or feed from the dull light in the dark
I only now continue this tired heartbeat
Because someone out there is feeding it life

For **** sake
please refrain
from using the term
"bae"

Your home will shatter

Emotionally not physically

The wood panels still fused

But your security dissipated

Dishes still in the kitchen sink

But your routine in shards



You will pack up

Backpack up on your back

And down on the ground

In your new compound

You will attempt to create anew

And you will

But it is unlike before

It will never be like before



So you will try a return

You will, desperately,

Grasping for breath,

Ride your bike to that old gate

That old entrance to that previous exit



But I regret to inform you,

It is no longer your home

He might invite you in but only to see a new couch

Some other woman is in the groove

But it’s not even the one you once made

The bathroom will look the same

Same  portrait

Same book on top of the toilet

But a new towel hangs

And it’s no longer the perfume of your shampoo filling the room



I am so sorry but

You will feel like you are in a bad dream

Everything is familiar

Everything is yours in a no longer tucked away memory

It is still real if you open it and prolong it

It is still yours in some existence

Where that moment froze and never stopped

But it is changed

At the same exact time

It is hurdling forward as fast as it is still

It is as foreign as it is memorized

Everything is off on the same track



I am sorry but you can never go home