27 | 31 Poems for August

My hands will always long for the company of yours.
I’ve been hopelessly walking around with a broken heart.
Yesterday I felt like crying but surprisingly nothing came out.
I patiently put my pain on paper to let you know what I am all about.
I write to write, yet the emptiness remains.
All that I’m left with is a broken heart and black ink stains.
Walk steadily and try by all means to maintain your centre of gravity.
I’m forever drunk on love while you’re still living off its depravity.
I’m not always this quiet, my mind is as loud as a riot.
People stop and stare, their expressions prove that they don’t care.
I love hard like I’ve never ever been acquainted with heartbreak.
I’m on the pursuit of happiness but I’m currently running low on love.
Hold me like a conversation, hold me and don’t ever let me go.
But if you ever feel like giving up and letting go then let me know.
Overdosed on morphine just so I could morph in.
Except I use other drugs just to numb the pain.
Searching for my rainbow so allow me to dance in the rain.
On some days it gets worse, this sickness is a curse.
I think you know it, I think everyone knows it now.

In my dream I'm
holding your hand in class again and
we go over to study at your house and
next thing I know we're on your bed and
then we're both asleep in each other's arms.
Nothing more happened in my dream,
except for the fact that when I woke up in your arms you
pulled me closer, rubbed your nose against mine, and then you
gently kissed my lips.

This dream is all it is--a dream. It will never happen,
but I can't seem to help my mind from wandering.

People scare me.  They change their minds so quickly.  One moment it's "I love you" and "you make me happy" and the next it's "I'm not sure anymore" and "this isn't what I want".

I
Must say
You're best
At how you beat me
With the very bit of mine imagination


For
A second
You make me
Want to think,I'm the greatest amongst your enemies
Yet
When I
Grasp you in mine arms
And proximate you on me
Shall you quiver yet not so long
And shall gasp to kiss on my lips


Truthfully
Now and then
Shall your sighs puzzle me
And for every bit voiced
Cram how you had want to gulp me
whole inside of you
And even how you can't live without me

Yet
I'm cloack
With remorse
For I feel I make you a bully of my love
And
Each now and then
Will  I listen to the words
You say and purge their fairness
To the very syllable

I
Had
Believed you whole
And mine eyes shall flood with tears forever
When I heard you say
He always make you ebb through
The beautiful blues skies and make you want
To catch the golden sunset
When you two make love
I
Had
Even believed
You thoroughly
And had sink into wild waters
Or probably drown into the deepest part
Of the abyss
And rest myself there
For an eternal self-torture
When
I heard you say
His touches make your heart beats faster
Than the rhythms of love played by a ghost
On a magic lyre

But
Then
Every word you uttered
Was a false figurine in your eyes
And
Again
By and by shall I peek the verity
They cloack your soul with
Like what they say
"The window to every soul is the eyes"

But
I may
Had Believe the very words
Your  tongue chimed
Yet then
I trust wholly in the verity your eyes spoke

The verity your eyes speak

©Historian E.Lexano

They say it doesn't hurt. They say it is over quickly. What if they are wrong. There are so many ways to do it, but what if I change my mind. I just want the pain to stop, I am dying inside. I have thought about it a lot but I am afraid. How will my family feel. What happens next, I am not really sure, then who is. If I go one more day will it get better. I don't know, I only know I want the pain to end. Will someone tell me does it really work, is it worth it. I am dying inside. Please I want to end it, but I am not sure. How do I do it, will I succeed or will I be left worse off than I am now. I am not sure, perhaps one more day and then I will try. I just want the pain to stop, I just want to sleep. I want to stop dying inside.