I broke your heart this morning at 8 am
and then again at 6 pm.

Maybe sometimes it feels like everyone's against you.
But you keep trying to mend your shattered pieces to keep walking down these roads without dropping anything too valuable.
So you keep asking yourself if this life is really worth it.
It is.
But you keep wondering because you feel so alone.
Maybe it's because you can't seem to get the shards back in the right places so you end up bleeding out.
Save yourself.
Be the light.
Stop letting the darkness swallow you whole.
And you think to yourself, if this life has taught me anything, it's that no matter how alone you are, no matter how far gone you think you are, there will always be light.
Find the good in the bad.
Make your own history.
And maybe in the meantime you'll find yourself along the way.
But believe me when I say, everything will end up okay.

You peel
back the
        skin
& we are
the same,
hearts
     beating
beneath flesh,
       organs
translucent
as scaly fish
beneath the
        surface
of a lake,
life clearer
now judged
by the
weight of
        a soul,
almond
shaped versus
deep bowl
too heavy
          to hold,
things obscure
before stand
        clear as
stars pressed
         against
the night sky,
as your red
twisted veins
hand
in hand with
           mine.

rewind; replay
    we're standing in a canopy of sunlight
    and laughing, constantly.
    our faces are tired of moving up
    but our eyes are used to crinkling;
    they fold, and shut, and open like buds
    with the spread and shrink of our grins, in
    and out, with our lungs.
Pauze. Zoom.
    Your nails are chipping now, but
    You're really a halfwit,
    So that doesn't deter you the least bit
    From scratch-scratch-scratching at their shook ends:
    They fall apart as we fall out.
    We're spinning, we're dizzyingly quick,
    Hurtling at the speed of 28,800 kilometres an hour; we're brisk
    At best. (Inconceivable at worst.)
    And I can feel, already, you slipping away.
    You're outside of my grasp; you're far out.
rewind; replay.
    We're ripping at the seams;
    Our faces are like bad make-up
    That doesn't move with our smiles;
    Our eyes stay impassive,
    Uninterested at best. Incensed at worst.
    The crinkles in their corners are crusted
    And new folds form on the frowns of our foreheads.
    We're smothering each other in pillow talk and blankets.
Flash-forward, play.
    We're bathed in rain, we're in a
    Canyon, in a chasm.
    We don't know salt from wound
    Or snake from bite. We
    Bring out the worst in our best selves.
    We're drowning in suitcases and bedding.
    We let it fill our lungs and we
    Don't look back.

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO MEET YOUR GAZE WHEN IT MAKES ME SO VULNERABLE? DO YOU KNOW HOW INTIMATE YOUR EYES FEEL EVEN FROM ACROSS THE ROOM? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I'VE AVOIDED YOUR GLANCE IN FEAR OF THEIR INTRUSIVE WALTZ IN MY THOUGHTS? DO YOU KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS WITHOUT TRULY KNOWING THEM?
DO YOU KNOW
DO YOU KNOW
DO YOU KNOW
you must know
you must know the ache in my skin that your stare leaves
you must know