Maybe this heartbreak should turn into lines of miserabley beautiful poetry,
but
no
i want you to read these words and see the 7 months we spent
squeezed between each s p a c e

i want someone to read this right now, and feel pain, utter, pure, agonising pain, to cry to the floor until they go numb.

I dont want beautifully woven miserable lines of poetry.
I want pain. I have pain. I am pain.

Moon child dances over water
Long hair covering eyes, color not seen by man before, unimaginable
Fresh bruises of rose, lemon, lavender
Appear on her soles

i wish that we could stay like this

He keeps me in a glass case
Shows me off all over town
Calls me his so no one else can
Brings me home whenever he can
But he never plays with me
Why does he never play with me?

Hateful and hurt emotions wrestling
They're keeping me up tonight
The glow of my phone on my face
He knows something's wrong
Why won't he ask me what's wrong?

He talks to me like I'm his little sister
He mocks me for studying what I love
He calls me a hippie because I care too much
He thinks my dreams are immature

He says I'm perfect
but I'm not his perfect

You ask me what I'm doing.
I reply "nothing", as I lay ******* smoking away my pain.
He makes me feel this way.
Insecure and unsure.
Fantasizing lips among breast.
Pressure upon chests.
Drowning out the pain leaving me soaking wet.    
Distant strangers.
Fantasy of someone that's not mine.
Constant aching all the time.
No attachment just attraction.
Smoking away your name.

Boom!
White light,
you plummet,
feel the cold air
of a fresh start.
Limbs not in your control,
you think it's a critical
hit, not able to speak
barely any motor skills.

You think it starts to rain,
water on the battlefield
washing off your blood,
wrapping you in nature's embrace.
Warm like an incubator,
keeping you warm and safe,
your eyes sliding closed.

Boom!
White light,
you plummet,
leaving the warmness
of the explosion
you cry out in confusion.
Doctor taking you in his arms,
you think you fell asleep
somewhere between here and there,
feel limbo hanging in the air.

Boom!*
Another flash of light
in your new eyes
sounds ringing through
your new ears,
they're counting your toes
and fingers,
seeing how much you weigh.
Swaddled you are given to
mother nature once again,
3 explosions,
you're dead,
and born again.

inadequecy
will be the death of me

"My innermost feelings are scattered all over the internet for others to read but if you were ever to come across them and solve the puzzle, I don’t know what I’d do."