I don't enjoy writing anymore
Everything I do
Just feels so hollow and fake
I wonder if I am that way too



Pretty words with no substance

Hold my hands above my head
Push me down into the bed
Bite me harder, rip my flesh
Put my sanity to the test
  
Do it harder, I like it rough
Do it faster, you know I'm tough
I'm a screamer baby,  so you know
For you, I'll put on a show

You can ruin me and torture me
I won't charge you, do it for free
Rip out all my feelings deep inside
**** me baby and make me cry

Harder, faster, stronger, please
Make me beg til I'm on my knees
I'm a screamer girl, that you know
For you baby, I'll put on a show

And there is too little
Not enough softness

And the world may
One day do me in

And cause me to turn
To stone or nothing at all

And yet I am too strong to
Submit to these fears

And life may be hard but
So am I in my softness, my love

And my compassion that comes so
Easily to me that I may care for all

And while I may hurt and feel weak still
Now I know I may overcome all

Seems to be
You've forgotten my name
My name which I'm sure
You never cared much about anyway

Seems to be
I've forgotten your name
Forced amnesia is a treat
Especially when you've forgotten about me

Emotionally unavailable
Talks about herself too much
Hard hearted and closed off
Soft and fragile to the touch

She doesn't know what she wants
She should've figured it out by now
We're so proud of our little girl
Why must you let us down?

Soft spoken and scared of everything
Strong willed and able to brush it off
A beautiful young adult
Her appearance makes us scoff

We love our little girl so much
We'll treat her heart like a toy
You can tell us everything
What do you mean you want to be a boy?!

She created the snow
And the other made it burn
Ash like snow fell on the ground
Each flake falling in turn

She played with the snow
While the other played with fire
Together when they met it was
A twisted, dark desire

Ice and fire were never meant to be
In close proximity to another
She burnedburnedburned to ashes
And froze did the other

I feel it right in the core of my soul
And it keeps me from being whole
I dwell on the past before me
And it taunts me with things that could never be

I feel it right in every breath that I take
And the pain makes me shiver and shake
The imaginary strength is faltering
And I can't do anything to alter it

Stomp on my dreams and crush them
Under the steel toe boots you often
Wore to give you a sense of power
And to make yourself not cower

But everyone knows that the past
Was never meant to last
So why am I dwelling over it?
God, I must be an idiot!

I am
  Not the one
          Who will deal with
                    All your lies and all
                           Your hatred. I am the one
                                     Who will perhaps send you to salvation.

*With my knife-sharpened words

Call the doc, I must be sick. Better get me my medicine!

There is no more sadness; only smiles from ear to ear. Oh, how fun it is to have finally snapped!

I need my medication. Don’t wanna go crazy again!

I spin around the room and laugh. I laugh until my chest starts to hurt. I laugh until I taste the blood rising up my throat.

Call the doc, I must be sick. Better get me my medicine!

Heavy techno blasts from the speakers, though I can barely hear it over the voices in my head. They tell me to keep dancing forever.

Come on now, don’t go insane. Don’t you wanna keep all the pain?!

We dance and dance until we fall down, the splintered wooden floor scraping the skin off of our legs. But we don’t feel a **** thing! Not one thing! Oh, isn’t it great?!

Call the doc, I must be sick. Better get me my medicine!

Instead of worrying about all the blood, we use it. Write our name on the wall and chant a ritual from a made up language. We can’t tell if anything happens or not. The voices chatter and babble on and keep me from completing the ritual.

I need my medication. Wanna go to a safe haven!

I can’t see anymore. I laugh and laugh and the world grows colorful and the music is lost on me and isn’t everything lost on everyone? I don’t even know! All I know is that I’ve been having the time of my life and that I never want it to end because if I have to go back to reality then that’ll be the worst thing ever because reality ***** it’s just a place where people go and die and in my state of UNREALITY I CAN NEVER DIE!

Call the doc, I must be sick. Better get me my medicine.*

I love unreality. Unreality is amazing. Unreality is a place far beyond my dreamland, where you become deliriously happy and the colors come inside you instead of just being around you and you wanna dance and you don’t even have to have justtherightmusic or justtherightstateofmind to visit. All you need is to have a little break from reality. How do you do that? It’s easy! Just don’t take your medicine for a long while, and start listening to some music, and cry for a while, and soon you’ll be happy go lucky hunky dory perfectly peachy just amazing~

And then somebody always has to take you back to reality.

My life is a mess
And I wanna die

But hey!

At least I got
My homework done on time

We've been taught from stories that
Love
Is only pure when between
A boy and a girl
Only beautiful when
They are a specific type
Only whirlwind and fantastic when
It's a forbidden affair
And love is a path that is
Straight and narrow

Truth be told
Love has few boundaries
Love is love between people who
Are able to love
Can love
Will love
With all they've got in them
And love
In its purest form
Has no set path

Floor length dress and sleeves reaching to the ground
Standing in the middle of the street
Dancing around to the annoying music
Of the car horns blaring around her

Bobby sits watching her
In her plastic folding chair
With a beer in hand
And macabre thoughts in mind

Was the girl going to die?
Crushed under a four wheel drive
Splattered on someone's windshield?
Mangled underneath the tires?

She stands in the middle of the road
Swaying, swaying to nature's cacophonous beat
Her dress sways as she moves
And she twirls and twirls as car horns hon

Like all the others
She was probably looking for attention
Didn't want to die
Only wanted the world to revolve around them

But Bobby felt different
A pang of sympathy
She wanted this girl to live
So she asked her

*Stand in the middle of the street often?

Easy recollection
A predisposition
To pain, this pain
It all feels the same

You smile as you watch me
Hoping no one taught me
To live, through this
Through agony's sweet kiss

Well, I'll teach you a thing or two
About me
Because, you know, I will not go
Without my remedy

You think that you've ruined me for life
Given me too much pain, misery, strife
Well, I'll tell you that it's not the way to be
If you believe that, you don't know about me!

Sun breaks out of the clouds              
And all is lit up
Like a wildfire lights up
A meadowland, burns it down
To bring life anew.
Snow melts, and
The world bursts alive.

Heart pounding in rhythm beats
Like the bass from my new favorite song
Sneakers tapping along concrete
As I rush away from the throng

There's nothing I see and nothing that dazes me          
But the light of the bright azure sky
Lighting my way through the rotten grey haze  
And I feel like I'll never die!

Come with me tonight
And we'll escape
The monsters in your head
Hurry before they find us

Run with me tonight
And we'll escape
The demons in your soul
Quick before they find us

Come with me tonight
And we'll defeat
The voices in your head
You are not alone

The rain pounds
Like a person
On drums
Tapping against the
Windows of my
Apartment room
Like teardrops
Rushing down the glass
Hoping to bring smiles again
One day.

I knew I had met you for a reason
Was that reason to fall in love?
Were we meant to be, you and I?
Dreamers wandering under unlimited skies?

I'm willing to love anyone because
My soul is broken in two
However, the reason I'm in love now
Is because there's nobody else like you

We go together just like sugar and honey
Such a sweet little taste of heaven we are
And while the resonance could be seen as funny
Our going together couldn't be seen as bizarre

Do you ever feel
As if the world's unreal?
So do I sometimes
It's like I've lost my mind

Do you ever dream
Of something that seems
So unordinary
It's kinda scary?

Do you ever cry
Out to the blue, blue sky?
Hoping that it goes gray
That it wouldn't stay

Then again you should know
That when you want to show
What's truly inside
It seems the world has died

But I'll listen                  
I'll slaughter the demons inside you
I'll listen
There's nothing that I wouldn't do

To listen
Is the best thing for anyone
So I'll listen
Just tell me all your hopes and all your dreams and fears until you're done.

Your eyes are so beautiful
If only they were still in your head
For you see, you never loved me
So that's why now you are dead

Your voice was so beautiful
But now your throat is ripped out
All I wanted was to sing to you songs of love
All you wanted to do was scream and shout

Just another day in paradise
Banishing the demons before my eyes        

Just another day in paradise
All my hopes and dreams dropping like flies

Is it better to speak ugly truth
Or beautiful lies?
Falsehoods may make her happy
But in the end she still cries

If I may rust away this fake metal
Slough off the imaginary skin I was given
Would that make me happy?
Would it make me whole again?

In the night sky that gleams upon the surface of the earth,
The moon teaches the stars how to shine

There's always a reason
For anything that happens
The world will keep on spinning
Even without me there

Reality is fantasy                            
And sanity is madness, you see?
There's nothing I can
Grab onto and hold

If my heart has died
Would I still be alive?
My breathing slows and
I can see a light

This life of mine
It's almost time
For me to say goodbye
For the last time

I cannot ever give into despair
If I allow for the pain to overcome me
And swallow up all that I've become
That is no worse than accepting death

I've won this battle once, twice,
Countless times before,
Coming out worse for wear each time
And yet still fighting on the next day

The price of complacency is one I cannot afford, and I will fight this war until it kills me