it wasn’t chaotic.
it was calm and serene,
like the ocean.
the soft pitter patter
of the rain on the roof,
and the cool air it brought.
it was a sip
of freshly brewed coffee,
natural with no additives,
whatsoever.
the gut feeling
of knowing where home was.
and that is how
you came into my life.


the star that shines the brightest
amongst the pitch black sky.
it’s the white cloud that outshines
all the gray and gloomy ones.
the perfect fit of the last piece
to the unfinished puzzle.
it's the warm, fuzzy feeling
of getting into bed
early on a Friday night.
and that is how it was
when I started loving you.


it’s like a deeply cut wound,
one that’s inundating
with crimson colored blood,
having a tinge of maroon.
it induces pain
with every inbreathe
and exhalation.
it manages to have
the appearance of a scar,
yet it still feels so fresh
like a bruise.
and that is how it felt
when you left.


it was filled with haze
and suffocation.
the uncontrollable fast paced beat
of your heart.
Mona Lisa's enigmatic smile,
one that is hardly understood
by majority of the world.
a bite of dark chocolate,
bitter and sweet.
and this is my survival.

You said, "The key to happiness is self preservation."
I don't think you know what happiness means.

Clearly, you've never kissed in the freezing rain.
Clearly you've never had *** in a stranger's pool in the middle of the night.
You've probably never had a midnight snowball fight without gloves or a jacket.
There's no way you've ever been on a roller coaster.
You've obviously never taken a punch for a friend.
I'll bet you've never taken the blame for something you're little sister did.
I'm sure you've never gone bike riding through a lightning storm.
And you've most certainly never been in love,
Or moved to a new city with nothing but a suitcase.
Or enlisted in the military.
Or driven into a terrifying part of town to rescue a drunk cousin.
Or committed a serious crime, or deployed a school prank.
Or road tripped to a college and gotten stupid drunk.
Or played tackle football on Thanksgiving with your older cousin's friends.
And you've **** sure never snuck out into the night,
or jumped into a fight for one of your friends.
And something tells me you know nothing of signing your life away for a cause greater than your own.
Have you ever gone paint balling? Or white water rafting?
Rock climbing? Street racing?
Have you ever played with fireworks?
Or shared a meal with a homeless person?
Didn't think so.
Have you ever played truth or dare? Probably not.
You've never quit your job to pursue a dream,
you've never rolled the dice of fate, knowing death could be as probable as life.
And you **** sure have never willingly given your self fully to another, to do with whatever they please, because without them you'll never be whole again.
And there's no way in Hell you've ever begged out into the darkness to trade your life with a family members, wishing to take their pain away and wear it like a trophy so they can be happy again.

You see, the key to HAPPINESS is LIFE.
The key to LIFE is being ALIVE.
And the preservation of the moments, and people that make you feel alive, that remind you how precious and beautiful being alive is.
And in order to feel alive, sometimes you have to put your life on the line, and live a little dangerously.
Sometimes that means not knowing where your life is gonna go.
Sometimes it means preserving someone else's life before you're own.
Because happiness is knowing your life is worth living.
Save your preservation for when you're dead.
By then it won't matter anyways.
But hey, what do I know?
You'll be a perfect corpse some day. Way prettier than mine.