I'm in the back of your mind.
I'm just that cardboard box of old memories that everyone
leaves on the top shelf,
Allowing it to dust over.
She's in the front of your mind.
She's the box of prized possessions
You look at and think about every day.
What do I mean to you?
Nothing?
Nothing at all?
I want to mean something to you,
I want to mean more than a dusty cardboard box.

You want me to visit you
But it's so hard sometimes
I tell you but you snap back at me
With an insulting comment to fill my eyes with its salty tears once again.

You ask for support,
But where was mine when I needed it
the most?
Oh yeah, it was being washed down
The drain with the ***** and whiskey passing by your lips every night you weren't here.
Like you always said,
You'll end up dead, in rehab, or in jail if the addiction worsens.
You were right for once.

We talked about the big house we were going to live in because we would work so hard,

And we talked about the kids we would raise together, just you and me and them,

And we talked about our dreams and wishes and promised each other they'd all come true,

And we talked about never letting go, never leaving the other one alone on a cold and rainy day,

But I broke our promises.
All of them.
So now why am I the one whose
heart is breaking?
So why do I deserve 12 roses from you now when I couldn't have given a **** about your feelings for me before?

May the rich stay poor,
And the poor stay bold,
May the bold stay strong,
And the strong uphold.

May the upholding withhold,
And the withholding receive.
And the receiving give,
And the giving remain in peace.

You plant me
In your garden of love.
But why choose me
When there are so many to pick from?
I'm just a lonely flower.
No company to be found.
I water myself with my tears.
So just let me be and let me drown.
I'm just a dark flower.
No color is present here.
I just sit here and worry.
Let me dwell in all my fear.
I'm just a sick flower.
I'm not like all the rest.
I sit here and hurt myself.
And that's my only quest.
I'm just a hurt flower.
With scars to tell my past.
But also present day too.
That old day was not the last.
But I, the lonely, dark, sick, and hurt,
Will try to stand above.
For you love me so dearly,
And forever hold me in your garden of love.

You told me you loved her
And I wanted to cry,
You asked if I was okay
And I said I was fine,
But I really just want
To drown in my tears,
Because you loving another women
Is my biggest fear,
You probably know
But hesitate to ask,
Because I told you before
But the past is the past,
And frightened little me
Afraid to fail,
Secretly wants you to be the
Prince in my fairytale

I speak like the past wasn't real,
I speak like I could never feel.
I speak like I could never be,
I speak to what's left of me.

I am no longer complete,
I can no longer repeat,
My actions of defeat,
Which had brought me to my feet.

My life a rock,
And on my door you had knocked.
My life a ticking clock,
But that timer you had blocked.

What's left of me is bold,
What's left of me is no longer cold.
What's left of me is strong,
What's left of me no longer does wrong,

You have found my haven,
A place I never want to let go,
A place to set my feelings aside,
A place for me to have a home.

You have found my safe place,
A place where I'm at peace,
A place where I don't know sorrow,
A place for me to release.

You have found my life's true meaning,
A place where there's no threat,
A place that I can call my own,
A place without any regret.

You have found what saves my life,
A place for me to be,
A place I never want to leave,
A place where you saved me.

I walk alone,
Wanting to turn my head,
Afraid of judgement.

I feel as if every house I pass,
The owner is inside watching,
Pointing a finger and laughing
At my every move.

I want to run home,
But I know that in all reality,
Running draws more attention.

I only know a select few people
From the houses I pass.
The ignorant,
The smokers,
The people who don't think
I know who they are,
They could care less
If you walk past or not.

But then the people I know
The strange elders,
The sweet old ladies,
The people who take time
Out of their day to say hello to you.

The people who smile and wave
Mean the most,
Because they don't care
How you walk,
They don't care
How your arms swing.
They just care
That they have someone to
Say hello to.

These are the people who care.
And if you feel like they do it
Because they're obligated to,
Think about the people in their houses,
Point and laughing
At your every move.

Sometimes we have to walk in the rain.
Not because we want to,
But because we have to.

Sometimes we have to walk in the rain.
Not because we simply can't drive,
But because they forgot about me.

Sometimes we have to walk in the rain.
Not to know what sadness feels like,
But to know what happiness feels like.

Sometimes we have to walk in the rain.
Not because we want the exercise,
But because you don't care.

Sometimes we have to walk in the rain.
Not for any specific reason at all,
But to reassure things can get worse.
A lot worse.

I dream to be with you forever.
And I learned that dreams are a wish your heart makes.
I also learned that love comes from the heart.
So if this is the case, does this mean I love you?