You sleep well,
While my heart cry.

I wish I could tell all these things
Straight to your face.

But I don't have the courage
To see you hurt.

I am tired to be your sometimes.
I want to be your always and forever.
Love me in my weakest,
Not just when I'm available to satisfy your needs.
Make me feel loved when I am alone and lonely,
Not just when it's convenient to you.
Be there for me for always,
Not just when she's not into you.

I have no plans in giving up on you.


But you are giving me enough reasons to do so.

Always me and you.





Always.

"Reality will break your heart.
Survival will not be the hardest part.
It's keeping all your hopes alive,
When all the rest of you has died.
So let it break your heart."


-Paramore, 26

I still
can't believe
that what we
had and cherished
was all
gone.

....

I made a mistake.
I made love again with you last night.
I love you,
You do love me, but you also want someone else.
And what's make it more painful?
Because I did know.
We let our emotions take us over.
I let you linger in my skin.
I touched you like there's no tomorrow.
Our lips met again since I don't know when.
And our body missed each other so much.
It was a painful, yet magical memory.
It was so wrong but it feels so right.
Now I regret that it happened,
Letting you in again was a big mistake.
I was on my way of moving on from you.
Now I'm pain again.
And I'm back in the starting line again.

You had me at my best,
I had you at your worst.

You left me at worst,
She had you at your best.

And we're back
at being
strangers.

Before was
sad, empty, and tired eyes.



Now it is
lifeless.

Go.
Take all the time you need.
Feel the freedom.
Feel the space.
Feel the distance between us.
Be happy.
Be happy even without me.
Even I'm not part of the happiness you need.

In this chaotic world,
I wanna be chaos with you.

Congratulations.


You finally killed me today.

Even at my best,
I'm still not enough for you.


And I think, I'll never be.

Even the rain screams your name.

I have this fear of losing you,
And I can't keep it off my mind.
The fear of dying anytime,
Just when you say a word and the spell will eventually cast me.
The fear of you pulling the trigger,
Of the gun I personally handed to you.

You said you are afraid to lose me.
I never thought you were that strong,
Until you face your fear and left me.

Jokers dressed as king of hearts,
Cupid is asking his arrows back.
We rode in a getaway car,
It felt like flying, but it didn't took us far.

You can't break her heart,
So you break mine instead.

its funny
how you're
suddenly concern
about my
happiness
while
you're the
reason of
my sadness.

You're giving me
hundred reasons to leave,

But I'm always able to find
one reason to stay.

You remind me everyday,
I am not enough.

If my eyes could just speak,
It will scream at the top of it's lungs
And try it's hardest to convey what it's feeling.

The pain,
the pressure,
the tiredness,
the unworthiness.

It will surely shatter
And break into pieces as it explodes
due to pain.

Save it in your lips,
If you don't really mean it.

Oh dear,
you got that beautiful smile.

But your eyes are tired.
And the eyes never lie.

its
time
to
let
you
go
and
finally
set
myself
free.

You know what hurts me the most?

Your actions.
The things you do
and the way you replaced us
like it was nothing to you.

"Why do you need to know everything?"

Said by the boy who told me he loves me.



"Okay, Noted".

I told myself with a heavy heart.