it's interesting how, at night,  the smoke only reveals itself when shone on by the light. it's not even only the smoke -- it's the wind that moves it.

i thought of you while i smoked those three cigarettes. i can only reveal my true self when i'm with you. you are my light; the only one who possesses the ability to bring out the beauty in me, the beauty i've been keeping in for a very long time.

i'm intoxicated. both by the cigarettes and by you.

i love you. i do, i really do. and i’m sorry if it freaks you out sometimes, but these feelings are so overwhelmingly strong that it shakes my whole system even after 2 am. i dream of you constantly and it horrifies me because they seem so real — as if i could still feel it, taste it, remember it like it happened yesterday.

i love you, and it’s scary to think that your words can break me anytime, any moment. i am vulnerable to you, and i think it’s both beautiful and sad how i easily & effortlessly gave it all up just so i could be with you. there’s just something — God knows what — that made me want to be with you even though i’m aware that you’re galaxies away from me.

i love you, and i love how i feel beautiful when you say that you are in love with me too. God, you are my favorite. i must admit that i have kissed & loved enough boys to know what brokenness truly feels like, but you mended me just like i’m something familiar, something you’ve been fixing your entire life. it’s a sick, mad world we’re living in, but you make it seem less agonizing whenever i hear you say those three words at 3 am, 4 pm, or 11 pm.

i’m in love with you, and it’s more intoxicating than the cigarettes and the alcohol i’ve taken in my whole life combined, and i don’t even want to be sober. you are the high even without the drug. you are the euphoria even without the ******* (beautiful) fireworks. you are the emotion even without the words.

i love you, and it’s okay if you can’t put it into words — how you feel — because even the silence i spend with you is enough to give me butterflies in my empty stomach. i don’t know what time it is, but it’s past midnight, and i’m still writing about you. i am a mess for and because of you, and my handwriting is proof. you shake my system even when you’re not there, and my dear, this is rare.

i love you dearly, with all honestly, and with all faithfulness. and i can’t help but think about you, every **** day. you’re both my drug and my antidote. my poem. my sunlight, my stars. my soul.

and i hope you love me too, as much as i love you.

The damage a storm can do
isn't even close to how I felt after you

Take me away-
Distract me from this place.
Stress has overtaken me
My life has forsaken me.
I have just realized,
After all that I've done,
I've become like them.
A mindless robot
With sociopathic tendencies.
I'm begining to malfunction.
Help me,
Take me away.
Fix me.

Remember me when
I am gone in a sorrow island
Where you can no longer feel my presence as usual

Rememember me when
I am gone away
Far away in a deadly place
Where we can no longer see
And talk as we used to

You were beautiful from the moment you stood out and said 'hi'
And I was nothing but a truck load of sad October nights,
but then I met you and I wanted to move on, yet freeze time...

I loved the way that you listed all your favourite bands,
and helped me see a side of music that I didn't understand
Though Taylor Swift will never be on your most recently played,
I know you'd still keep an open mind

And my mind will always be grateful enough to rewind..

Back to the first week when I was still a mess,
a dreamer with no drive,
writing a book for no one to impress
but I wrote thinking things would someday be different,

And i was right..

Cause in those November nights,
those long and tiring bus rides
you were the checkpoint every time I almost died
and now we're in December,
and I don't know how long is left of this ride..

I'd never thought that you would slowly start hating yourself,
just because I always swore you knew yourself better than anyone else
but it turns out that you are just another puzzle to unlock, to solve..

and in the second week of November we just sat there in a shop and read,
and in the third week I remember, sitting in a coffee shop, writing with passion again
oh what a wonderful way to be of use, as my muse and best friend

But feelings change, as hearts over think..
And sometimes all it takes, is just a blink back to November..

Oh, those insightful talks, about the impact of long walks
i held onto your every word and thought
but that was in November,
and those meaningful hugs and that early morning rush..
you caught me busted, running from the bus'
and now I'm sentimental

Oh I know you'll find someone maybe in a month or two,
but I hope you'll always love me as much as i love you
'cause all I seem to remember last month
is that for all of November,
you were the reason why I couldn't give up

You weren't as great
As I painted you out to be
Maybe I'm just a good artist.