someone took a needle threaded it, tied a knot double for luck and then sewed me down to this feeling sticky strands that prevent me from walking away and i was forced to stay, forced to hold on to the side of the rollercoaster car no choice but to let it all play out up and down, trying to ignore the rising, sinking, rising again in my stomach up to my heart, up through my mind, and down again but today i let go
just to brush the hair out of my face to see you better just for a split second, i let go
and the feeling dropped down to my toes leaving me hanging on again for dear life no, i’m not ready for a “look, ma, no hands!” kinda deal i’m still holding on, knuckles white and shivering waiting for the ride to end and half-wishing it would just keep going fight or flight, or just give in let the scene play out and my mind tells me, get out while you still can but the rest of me is soothing saying, stop looking away at the apex of the hills, keep that eye contact all through the drop, down to the bottom forget the fear, it’s just part of the beauty **** common sense, **** logic harsh words trying to slam some sense into me i guess it’s just the fact that i can’t analyze a rollercoaster ride when i’m still on it but i don’t want it to end just yet